Parents Play an Important Role in the Anti-Bullying Movement

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No Name-Calling Week is a holiday that recognizes the importance of acceptance while taking anti-bullying measures in schools and having honest discussions about the severity of bullying.

As an educator, I am all too aware of the impact that name-calling and other bullying can have on an adolescent. However, as we all know, teens are not exactly forthcoming about their emotions. Parents especially may be left in the dark in terms of happenings at school and with peers. Moreover, the accessibility of technology and smartphones has made it even easier for adolescents to bully one another. Snapchat, instagram, vine, and other social media forums are often laden with unkind, sometimes downright harsh, remarks and comments.

Whether you personally experienced bullying as a teen or not, you likely know of someone who has been affected by bullying. It is important that parents understand just how serious this issue can be for a young person. Hormones, emotions, and peer pressures create a breeding ground for insecurity. Bullies often exploit these already-vulnerable teens, making life significantly harder in and out of school. While teens may be intent on guarding their private lives from their parents, it is vital that parents know the signs of a bully and a victim.

Signs that your teen may be a victim of bullying:

  • Unexplainable injuries, or an attempt to hide or make excuses for odd injuries
  • Lost or destroyed clothes, phones, tablets, jewelry, etc.
  • Complaining of frequent headaches or stomach aches; attempting to miss school suddenly
  • Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge eating after school (often a sign that a child is avoiding lunch in the cafeteria)
  • Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares; oversleeping at any opportunity
  • Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, sports, or other extracurriculars
  • Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations; skipping plans or ignoring invitations from peers
  • Feelings of helplessness or decreased self esteem
  • Prolonged depressed mood or talks of suicide

Signs that your teen may be bullying others:

  • Frequently in trouble for fighting or verbally attacking others
  • Sudden change of peer group
  • Noticeable increase in aggressive behavior
  • Behavioral and/or academic trouble at school
  • Impulsive, irresponsible, or reckless behavior
  • Overly concerned with popularity and new peer groups

Of course, you know your child better than anyone–and you know their level of openness with you. It is okay to have open and honest conversations about school that focus on social topics, as opposed to simply asking only about academics. While autonomy is a major part of teen development, there are plenty of occasions when parents can and should get involved. Cases of bullying are certainly one of those instances.

For more information on how parents can discuss issues of bullying and school violence with teens, visit the link below.

http://www.violencepreventionworks.org/public/bullying_tips_for_parents.page

 

Learning to Learn

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Learning is a never-ending process. Of course, as educators, we put learning at the forefront of everything we do in the classroom. We ask ourselves many questions regarding the learning that we are hoping to witness: How am I going to see that they’ve understood? What will I do if they don’t understand? Is this a measurable objective? How can I apply this lesson to the real world? Do they care to learn this? With all of these questions about learning, it is important that we teachers step back and teach how to learn.

Especially during the transition grades—entering middle school, high school, or college—we must prepare students to learn how they learn best. Arguably, the best way to do this is to provide students with strategies that they can test out and employ. One of the major obstacles that I faced in my education involved studying. I always questioned myself in that area—Have I studied enough? Did I study the right concepts? Is memorizing the same thing as studying?

Here are a few tips that educators can teach students with regard to learning and studying:

  • Teach students how to pace themselves. It is much easier to tackle small bits of information at a time than it is to cram. Waiting until the last minute to cram before a test is also a surefire way to create unnecessary anxiety. Remind students of due dates and test dates. It is also helpful to model the process of chunking the work into manageable pieces along the way.
  • Encourage students to ask questions. Depending on the age and comfort level of a student, this may be a struggle at first. You could also provide question cards. Have students anonymously write questions that they’d like to have answered during the review session. It is also a good idea to encourage students to jot notes down during a class review or study.
  • Teach students to embrace the flashcard. This may seem like a painfully obvious approach to studying, but flashcards truly have several benefits. Creating flashcards helps to imprint the information beyond the scope of a student’s short-term memory. Writing something begins to solidify a connection in memory. Flashcards also force students to focus on only the key points. Since the purpose is to contain the important information on a small index card, students practice narrowing in on the main ideas and take-home points of the lesson. Of course, flashcards are also very handy to quickly and conveniently review material.
  • Model the mnemonic device. As crazy as it may sound, the mnemonic device was one of my best study quirks throughout all of my years of education. Even in graduate school, mnemonic devices helped to retain information that I thought I could never simply memorize. This strategy can utilize anything from a rhyme, song, pattern of words or letters, alliteration, etc., in order to solidify the information and easily recall it when necessary.

Introduce your students to these learning strategies to help them strengthen their study skills and enhance their performance across a range of subjects. As my experience suggests, these strategies will serve them well for years!

Turning Conflicts into Teachable Moments

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Any instance where 30 or more children or teens are working in one room can have the potential to ignite a conflict. An educator’s initial instinct may be to immediately extinguish the fire, which in some cases, is absolutely necessary. However, another approach to address conflict is to highlight and dissect the moment. Speaking through a conflict certainly involves tact; however, the practice will benefit future interactions in the classroom.

Address the issue headfirst: A surefire way to allow conflicts in the classroom to escalate is to sweep them under the rug. When students feel unheard or misunderstood, frustrations build. As uncomfortable as a discussion may seem, the conflict will not dissipate until it is brought to light.

Set the expectation: As the adult in the room, it is vital that the teacher creates a safe space for conflict resolution to take place. Students need validation and acknowledgment of their feelings and opinions. Educators must practice impartiality and fairness for all students involved. If students do not trust the situation, they will not open the door to allow honest conversations.

Encourage introspection: Ask students to identify exactly what emotions they are experiencing—there is a big difference between frustration and resentment. Motivate students to think about the root of the conflict. Oftentimes, conflicts arise out of misinterpreted messages. Ask students to speak honestly and directly about what they are thinking and experiencing.

Seek common ground: Frame the conversation around end goals and ask students what they would like to see as a result of this mediation. How are the students’ desires alike? How can the group compromise to ensure that everyone is heard? Highlight the fact that both students have similar feelings—just different opinions of the situation.

Curiosity kills the conflict: Effect change in students’ mindsets by encouraging everyone involved to remain curious and open-minded. Headstrong stubbornness will only help to facilitate the conflict; it’s fuel to the fire, so to speak. Keeping an open mind and truly listening to the other person allows barriers and egos to come down. When students are genuinely curious about the other person’s perspective, empathy, understanding, and resolutions will begin to smother the fiery conflict.

Conflict in the classroom is inevitable, but it doesn’t have to be an obstacle. Quite conversely, conflicts can be catalysts for learning opportunities and social and emotional growth. Embrace the teachable moments and know that every tough instance is an opportunity to advance our understanding of communication.