Curb Your Words: Remedies for Foul Language

For preschoolers and early elementary-age children, “bad words” might range from potty language and/or bodily function-themed terms to outright curse words. In most instances, youngsters are experimenting with language from a few different angles. 1) They are likely completely unaware of what these adult curse words mean, but they are using them simply because they have heard them from someone; it’s a new term for them to try out. 2) They are preoccupied with “gross” conversations because they have witnessed the giggly or embarrassed reactions from their parents, i.e., they’re just being ornery. 3) They are experimenting with pushing boundaries and testing limits of what they can and cannot get away with saying. 

In instances when children naively blurt out a curse word, but clearly have no idea what the word means or how it is inappropriate, parents should tread lightly. Try ignoring the word this first time. A reaction, whether amusement, embarrassment, or outrage could inadvertently reinforce the behavior. If your child uses the word again, it’s time to have a brief but firm conversation. Explain to him that those sorts of words are inappropriate and unkind. Firmly state that he should not use them anytime. 

If your child says something hurtful to or about someone else, explain how unkind comments can really upset others. Social-emotional skills are still developing at this early age, so empathy needs to be explicitly taught. Ask your child how she would feel if someone called her “ugly” or “dumb.” Segue to a conversation about appropriate ways to express feelings without name-calling. Then discuss the importance of a genuine apology when someone’s feelings are hurt. 

Make sure to practice what you preach at home. We all slip with our words, especially during emotionally intense moments. However, it is important to acknowledge your own mistake to solidify expectations at home. Correct yourself so that your child knows that rules about “bad words” apply to the whole family. With older siblings, it is especially important to have a separate conversation about setting a good example with younger brothers and sisters. Explain that, like it or not, younger siblings look up to their big brothers and sisters—so they must be careful about what they are saying and doing around impressionable siblings. 

Parents can also preemptively intervene by monitoring what children are listening to with regard to music, movies, and television. Too often, we adults are desensitized to the inappropriate nature of our favorite songs and shows. If we’re not careful, children will follow our lead and sing along to distasteful lyrics, unknowingly spouting any number of inappropriate terms. Preprogram kid-friendly radio stations and set restrictions on live and streaming TV options. Remember that sites such as YouTube can also be set with restrictions.

National Physical Therapy Month

October is National Physical Therapy Month, which recognizes those who support individuals with physical, occupational, and speech impairments. The American Physical Therapy Association, APTA, devotes the month of October to recognizing the impact that physical therapy can have through their initiative, #ChoosePT. The goal of #ChoosePT is to shed light on physical therapy as an alternative to pain medication, particularly opioids. APTA’s aim is to raise awareness about the benefits of physical therapy for certain injuries rather than resorting to prescribed pain medication. Of course, the use of pain medication is sometimes unavoidable, especially after a major surgery. However, as the opioid epidemic continues to expand, the ages of opioid overdose victims continues to fall into the early 20s and even teens. Now that the opioid epidemic has officially been declared a public health emergency, families must be prepared to identify and combat opioid overuse.

Fast Facts

  • According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, over 30% of teenagers consider the typically-abused medications, such as Vicodin and Oxycontin, to be “easily accessible” to teens.
  • Surveys indicate that 1 in every 5 high school seniors admits to having taken a prescription drug to get high.
  • Shockingly, about half of adolescent users claim to have obtained the prescription drugs illegally from a friend or family member.
  • While efforts to combat opioid addictions have increased across the country, the number of adolescent deaths related to overdoses has grown significantly over the last five years.
  • While negative peer influence has a major impact on impressionable teens, adolescents with close familial ties, whose parents are more involved and vocal about their disapproval of prescription drugs, are far less likely to engage in their misuse.
    Similarly, teens who prioritize their academics are also less likely to abuse opioids.
  • Because the average adolescent brain is still developing, and doesn’t fully mature until age 25, teens are especially susceptible to risk-taking, impulsivity, peer pressure, and addiction—it is almost as though their brains are primed for seeking the instant gratification that opioids seem to provide.
  • Because of the “euphoric” effects, teens with depression, anxiety, or other mood disorders are more likely to engage in prescription drug misuse.
  • Adolescents often believe that, because these opioids are prescribed by doctors, they are much safer than the typical “street drugs.” However, the truth is that the addictive properties are the same—making prescribed opioids just as, if not more, dangerous than heroin, fentanyl, etc.

Stay Safe: Strategies for Parents

  • When doctors prescribe a post-procedure pain killer for your child, ask about the possibility of an alternative to the typically prescribed opioid. Will a higher dose of ibuprofen or acetaminophen manage the pain?
  • If prescription opioids are necessary, follow the dosage instructions carefully; do not exceed the daily dose prescribed by the doctor.
  • Monitor the number of pills carefully and secure the prescription yourself; do not leave it up to your teen to administer his/her own doses.
  • When pain has been adequately managed, your teen should not continue taking the medication. It is not like an antibiotic where you should finish the full prescription.
  • Many doctors recommend flushing leftover pills to avoid their misuse.
  • Talk openly with your teen about the dangers of abusing prescription drugs. Remind them that even one instance of abusing a prescribed opioid could contribute to an addiction and/or overdose.
  • Stay keen on any mention of a “pharm party,” as these are growing more popular among high school students. At a pharm party, teens bring prescription drugs and other pills to trade or sell. Sometimes pills are tossed into a bowl and passed around like candy, which is why parents must carefully monitor how and where their prescription drugs are stored.

Accommodations Translated, Part II

In “Accommodations Translated Part I,” we introduced several key distinctions. We explained the four categories: setting, presentation, response, and timing. We also discussed the difference between accommodations and modifications, as they relate to special education services. To continue our parent’s guide to classroom accommodations, we hope to explain a few of the more ambiguous terms, while still stressing the importance of open communication between parents and teachers when discussing IEP/504 accommodations.

What is it? When is it used? How is it helpful?
Flash pass Flash passes are used as a discreet means of signaling a student’s need to leave the classroom to take a “brain break” or cool down. They can be used for students with emotional disabilities, anxiety, ADHD, and health issues, among other things. Flash passes allow students the opportunity to hit the “reset” button during times of stress or when emotionally triggered. Flash passes often allow students to quietly leave to visit a break/cool down room, nurse’s office, counselling department, or resource room. It helps students self-assess and regulate their emotions by providing them with an additional means of calming down before a breakdown.
Scribe and/or oral response When a disability complicates a student’s ability to write, like dysgraphia, for example, a human scribe means that a teacher or support staff will write the response or passage as the student dictates. The response is the student’s genuine response, but without the complication of physically writing it down. This ensures that students are evaluated on their knowledge and understanding, just like every other student, but without the barrier of their disability. This accommodation also helps to build self-esteem because students’ ability to respond is not limited by their capacity to write.
Reduced workload Reduced workload is tricky because, if the learning goals or standards are reduced, this becomes a modification, not an accommodation. However, many students with identified learning disabilities may benefit from the accommodation, so long as the learning objectives are still assessed and met. If a student has a condition that limits his or her ability to maintain focus for lengthy periods of time, a reduced workload will help.  Essentially, with reduced workload, students are expected to meet the same objectives by using the same methods, but will be required to produce fewer examples, answers, paragraphs, etc. For instance, a student with PANDAS, for whom extended focus could trigger physical symptoms, teachers may require that student to write a 3paragraph essay, as opposed to 5 paragraphs. The student is still accountable for meeting writing standards for introducing, supporting, and concluding a topic; however, the additional body paragraphs are not required to demonstrate mastery. 
Chunking Chunking assignments and tasks is used when students struggle to tackle multi-step tasks or projects due to attention issues, executive functioning deficits, etc. While chunking is a “best practice,” meaning that teachers use this routinely for all students, it is not guaranteed unless documented in a student’s IEP. For a biology project or argumentative essay, for example, a teacher would break down the assignment into manageable daily/weekly steps.  Chunking works to benefit students in several ways. It makes the complex task seem more manageable and less daunting by breaking it into practical, feasible steps. It also helps students explicitly organize the workload by telling them in what order the steps should be completed. This is especially helpful for students with executive functioning deficits, because they often lack the skills necessary to organize complex tasks independently. Finally, chunking helps students manage their time with realistic checkpoints and soft due dates. Teachers are able to mitigate any struggles during the learning process and help simplify steps if necessary.  
Extended time Extended time, as it sounds,  allows students to have additional time to complete and/or submit assessments and assignments. This accommodation is frequently used when students struggle with attention issues, organization, processing disorders, etc.  Additional time, which could mean anything from 50-100% extended time past the due date, is meant to ensure that students are evaluated based on their abilities without their disability interfering. One major aspect that the IEP team will need to discuss is how the accommodation will be used. Parents, teachers, and the student should agree upon how extended time will be used. Will it apply to homework assignments, or just major tasks? How will that look during assessments? How will the student request extended time? At what point in the process of a project or essay should the student ask for extended time?  

 

IEP Process Must-dos for Parents

The IEP process can be daunting for families, especially for those parents who are new to the concept of special education. When you combine the lengthy documents, clinical terminology, and educational/legal jargon, the individualized education plan can seem like a beast to be conquered. However, it is imperative for parents to always remember this: you are your child’s greatest advocate. With your participation and advocacy throughout the IEP process, parents can ensure that their child’s needs are prioritized.

 

Speak up

 

For the initial evaluation and any future reevaluations, it is crucial that parents vocalize any and all concerns regarding areas of need. The IEP team is obligated to test and evaluate the suspected disability or disabilities; however, you know your child best. If you suspect other learning disabilities not originally identified as a concern, speak up about them. Be specific about what you have seen. What does the specific struggle look like for your child? What have you observed over the course of several months? How would you objectively define this need? It is your job to make sure that all avenues are explored when it comes to your child’s learning needs.

 

Do your homework

 

Unless waived by the parent, schools are required to send the IEP 5 days prior to the meeting so that parents can review. Please do your due diligence. Comb through the documentation thoroughly; highlight areas where you have questions or need clarification. Ask specifically what certain accommodations will look like in the classroom. If possible, seek assistance from your own private consultants, including an advocate, psychiatrist, pediatrician, etc. You want to maximize your time during the meeting by coming prepared, as opposed to reviewing documentation at the table.

 

Simplify it

 

Creating and sharing an easy-to-read reference sheet with teachers at the start of the school year can be very beneficial when it comes to supporting your child’s needs. Of course, teachers have access to students’ IEPs; however, they are rarely given direct/full copies of the documentation. They also are not typically given ample time to review the IEP thoroughly, unless that teacher is also the child’s case manager. To ensure that your child’s needs are met and areas of concern are known, consider making a “vision statement” to share with your child’s teachers. Include a recent photo on the sheet to familiarize the teachers with your child. It may be beneficial to include the specific learning disability; however, it is not required. The important information to include on the vision statement should be as follows:

  • Your child’s motivators
  • Personal interests/hobbies
  • Successful learning strategies
  • Most beneficial accommodations from the IEP
  • “Look-fors” or areas of concern that may require extra attention or support

Talk to your child

Discussing learning needs directly with your child is a great way to build self-advocacy skills. Ask about where they sit in each class; the time they are given during class to work on assignments; the relationship that they have with the teacher; the additional adults/supports in the classroom; the resources that are provided to help them through a difficult task. All of these questions allow parents to see more closely inside their child’s learning.  

 

 

 

Sign when you are ready

Too often, the IEP meeting flies by with questions still lingering. Since changes to the IEP are typical during meetings, it is important that parents take time to review those changes to look for inaccuracies, unclear language, or missing details. Do not feel pressured to sign the documentation until you have had the chance to thoroughly review it and get clarification where needed. Parents can request that all other parties sign the document and send the “draft version” home for further review before signing.

 

Accommodations Translated, Pt. I

The IEP and 504 process can be overwhelming. With so many aspects, considerations, components, and details, the documentation can be dizzying for families. One major piece of the puzzle that is crucial to understand is the list of the student’s accommodations—these are the specific supplementary aids and services that are legally guaranteed to students to assist in their learning. However, often times the terminology and phrasing can be unclear for families, especially those who are unfamiliar with clinical “teacher speak.” So what do some of the more commonly confusing accommodations actually mean for families? Let’s take a look!

  • First of all, accommodations are typically categorized into 4 groups: setting, presentation, response, and timing.
    • Setting involves an adjustment to the learning environment that is more conducive to the student’s learning needs. This could mean “reduced distractions” and/or “small group testing,” which we’ll explain more thoroughly later.
    • Presentation refers to the way in which the material is offered or presented to the student. An example might be to supplement a required reading with the option to listen to an audio recording of the same text.
    • Response accommodations refer to the manner in which the child answers or completes a task or assignment. Access to a Word Processor, for example, is a common accommodation for students with dysgraphia.
    • Timing, as it sounds, involves the child’s school schedule and/or allotted time for task completion. For instance, a child with ADHD may benefit from taking more rigorous courses first thing in the morning, as opposed to having content-heavy classes after lunch.
  • Additionally, there is an important distinction between accommodations and modifications. 
    • Accommodations are put in place to help students with various learning difficulties to circumvent their challenges or disabilities. However, accommodations do not alter the expectations for learning; nothing is “watered down” or simplified, as some parents often misconceive. 
    • Modifications do change the content or amount of the information that the child is required to learn. For instance, instead of completing a timed 30question multiplication quiz, students with a modified workload might have to answer 15 questions.

Another common misconception involves a widely-used accommodation—preferential seating. Contrary to what many parents assume, preferential seating doesn’t necessarily mean in the front and center of the classroom. This accommodation actually means that the student should be seated wherever he or she will be most successful and have optimal access to instruction. That said, preferential seating could mean different things for different students; it could also mean different seating from class to class. For example, a student who becomes easily distracted by visual stimuli might need to face away from the windows in one classroom, but away from the doorway/hallway in another. 

In order for the accommodation to be truly beneficial, the decisions being made about seating should be a collaborative effort among the IEP team and the student. Open communication is key here. It is also important to note that preferential seating can be a fluid arrangement; if seating does not appear to be successful, teachers should discuss with the student and rethink what “preferential” should look like moving forward.

Start the School Year with Self-Advocacy

Self-advocacy is not an innate skill for everyone. Children, especially, are often unfamiliar with the concept. This is because, for the most part, many of their needs have been met before they even ask.

In order to introduce self-advocacy skills, parents have to ignore the natural instinct to step in and assist and instead allow their children to recognize, specify, and vocalize their needs. These three aspects are crucial for enacting self-advocacy: children must have opportunities to recognize when they need something; they then need practice identifying exactly what they need that is going to help them through the task or challenge; finally, they need communicative skills to relay that information to others who can provide assistance.

Tips for Parents
Provide children with space to initiate a task or challenge on their own before stepping in to “solve it” for them. This small, hands-off practice allows for three things: (1) Children are given the opportunity to approach the task and problem-solve on their own. (2) They are required to ask for help when they need it, instead of simply waiting for and relying on an adult to intervene. (3) They subconsciously establish self-confidence by independently recognizing their capabilities.
Encourage children to feel comfortable discussing specific obstacles and struggles. Again, a major piece of self-advocacy involves self-awareness because children must know what they need before they can ask for it. It puts children in a vulnerable position when they need to open up about their needs and weaknesses; however, modeling the process shows them that everyone needs help sometimes. Talk about your own struggles in school, sports, social circles, etc. Discuss how you managed those prickly situations and provide examples of how you problem-solved. It is important for children to feel comfortable speaking up when they need help, so a little encouragement goes a long way.

Similarly, parents can help put their child’s self-doubt at ease by clarifying what it means to learn something new. Children often expect instant gratification—they want to “do it right” on the first try. Explain to them that success is sweeter after struggle, that, as they progress through their education, learning should be more and more challenging. Reassure them that they are not expected to know and do everything perfectly every time. They will be much more inclined to speak up and advocate for their needs when they know that immediate perfection is not the expectation, but rather, growth and grit indicate success.

Help your child to feel more comfortable speaking up by encouraging her voice and thanking her when she contributes to conversation and/or problem-solving. Positive reinforcement is great for encouraging the shy or timid child because it sends the message that her opinion has worth. When a reluctant child does speak up, it is important to praise that effort to show that her opinion is valued. Even asking something as simple as, “What movie do you think we should watch tonight?” opens the door for your child to share an opinion.

When applicable, remind children of their special education services and accommodations and when to advocate for those supports. Placing a laminated “at a glance” sheet in your child’s binder that lists his accommodations and supports is a great start when familiarizing him with his IEP or 504 plan. The reference sheet acts, not only as a reminder of the accommodations, but also as a prompt for a reluctant child to speak up for himself when his needs are not being met. Sometimes, especially for children with executive functioning or processing difficulties, students may struggle to specify exactly what they need to move forward in a complex task. They know that they’re stuck, but they don’t know what is tripping them up or how to move through the hurdle. Obviously, this can be frustrating for a child. The accommodations grid acts as a visual self-advocacy reminder that lists the child’s personal “tools” to support them in the classroom.