Say Goodbye to the Summer Slide: Fun and Effective Strategies to Keep Kids Learning

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Are you ready to make this summer a season of learning and fun for your kids? Say goodbye to the summer slide—a term that describes the loss of academic skills over the summer break—and hello to engaging activities that will keep your children sharp and ready for the next school year!

The summer slide is a real concern for educators and parents, especially for students from lower socioeconomic backgrounds who may not have access to educational resources during the break. But don’t worry; with the right approach, you can turn summer learning into an exciting adventure for your kids!

Here are some fun and effective strategies to keep your kids learning all summer long:

  1. Student Choice: Let your children choose what they want to read or learn about. Whether it’s fiction or nonfiction, giving them a say in their learning will increase their motivation and engagement.
  2. Various Modes of Texts: Don’t limit learning to just books. Consider audiobooks, ebooks, graphic novels, and magazines to cater to different interests and reading levels.
  3. Curriculum-based Activities: Check with your child’s school or teacher for materials that align with the previous year’s curriculum. This can include books, activities, or projects that reinforce what they’ve learned.
  4. Family Involvement: Start a weekly family book club where everyone reads and discusses a chosen book. Make it fun with snacks, cozy blankets, and maybe even a movie night based on the book!
  5. Real-life Connections: Connect reading material to your child’s interests or experiences. If they’re going to soccer camp, find books about soccer or soccer players. This makes learning more relevant and engaging.

By incorporating these strategies into your summer routine, you can help your children combat the summer slide while having a blast! So, grab some books, gather the family, and let the summer learning begin!

Small Steps to Help your Children Self-Advocate in a Big Way

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Self-advocacy is not an innate skill for everyone. Children are often unfamiliar with the concept because, for the most part, many of their needs are met before they even ask.

In order to introduce self-advocacy skills, parents have to ignore the natural instinct to step in and assist and instead allow their children to recognize, specify, and vocalize their needs.

These three aspects are crucial to help children self-advocate:

Children must have opportunities to recognize when they need something.

They then must practice identifying exactly what they need to help them through the task or challenge.

They need communicative skills to relay that information to others who can provide assistance.

Tips for Parents

Provide children with space to initiate a task or challenge on their own before stepping in to “solve it” for them. This small, hands-off practice allows for three things: (1) Children are given the opportunity to approach the task and problem-solve on their own. (2) They are required to ask for help when they need it, instead of simply waiting for and relying on an adult to intervene. (3) They subconsciously establish self-confidence by independently recognizing their capabilities.
Encourage children to feel comfortable discussing specific obstacles and struggles. Again, a major piece of self-advocacy involves self-awareness because children must know what they need before they can ask for it. It puts children in a vulnerable position when they need to open up about their needs and weaknesses; however, modeling the process shows them that everyone needs help sometimes. Talk about your own struggles in school, sports, social circles, etc. Discuss how you managed those prickly situations and provide examples of how you problem-solved. It is important for children to feel comfortable speaking up when they need help, so a little encouragement goes a long way.

Similarly, parents can help put their child’s self-doubt at ease by clarifying what it means to learn something new. Children often expect instant gratification—they want to “do it right” on the first try. Explain to them that success is sweeter after struggle, that, as they progress through their education, learning should be more and more challenging. Reassure them that they are not expected to know and do everything perfectly every time. They will be much more inclined to speak up and advocate for their needs when they know that immediate perfection is not the expectation, but rather, growth and grit indicate success.

Help your child to feel more comfortable speaking up by encouraging her voice and thanking her when she contributes to conversation and/or problem-solving. Positive reinforcement is great for encouraging the shy or timid child because it sends the message that her opinion has worth. When a reluctant child does speak up, it is important to praise that effort to show that her opinion is valued. Even asking something as simple as, “What movie do you think we should watch tonight?” opens the door for your child to share an opinion.

When applicable, remind children of their special education services and accommodations and when to advocate for those supports. Placing a laminated “at a glance” sheet in your child’s binder that lists his accommodations and supports is a great start when familiarizing him with his IEP or 504 plan. The reference sheet acts, not only as a reminder of the accommodations, but also as a prompt for a reluctant child to speak up for himself when his needs are not being met. Sometimes, especially for children with executive functioning or processing difficulties, students may struggle to specify exactly what they need to move forward in a complex task. They know that they’re stuck, but they don’t know what is tripping them up or how to move through the hurdle. Obviously, this can be frustrating for a child. The accommodations grid acts as a visual self-advocacy reminder that lists the child’s personal “tools” to support them in the classroom.

Guiding Kids Through Global Uncertainty

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The news can be particularly unsettling in these turbulent times, marked by myriad global conflicts that resonate within our communities. Even for adults, the daily news and breaking headlines have the power to shake our emotions and sense of security. But what about our children? How do we help them understand and process the complex events dominating the news cycle? It may seem like a challenging task, but as parents, there are strategies we can employ to guide our families through these tumultuous times.

For children aged six and under, negative news stories typically offer little value for their young, impressionable minds. Unless the news is an inspiring story of someone triumphing over adversity, it’s generally best to shield these youngsters from the news.

However, if your child stumbles upon the news while you’re not around, perhaps at school or a friend’s house, it’s essential to be open to their questions. Avoid dismissing their concerns or brushing off their worries.

If your child has already heard distressing news, redirect the conversation towards a more positive path by reassuring them that your family is safe. But if the news hits close to home, discuss safety measures and how to stay secure in various emergency situations such as severe weather, fire, or getting separated in a public place.

For younger children, wrap up the conversation by transitioning to a joyful, light-hearted topic. You could read a funny book together or enjoy your favorite family show. The key is to move the discussion away from potential negative thoughts and replace them with more pleasant ones.

As children age, they become exposed to various information, including current events and political topics. While you can’t shield them from everything, you should be mindful of their maturity and sensitivity when allowing them to engage with certain news topics. Pay special attention to filtering information about their age group, as issues like school violence or teen suicide can be particularly distressing for older elementary schoolers.

Consider implementing filters and restrictions on specific channels or websites and explain why certain content may be inappropriate to your children. Stress that it’s not about distrust or punishment but a way to protect them emotionally. Respect their questions and curiosity, and always highlight the positive news happening in the world around them.

Your own opinions play a significant role in shaping your child’s beliefs. Children trust and adopt their parents’ perspectives, so it’s crucial to be mindful of the messages you convey both at home and outside.

Avoid making sweeping generalizations that lump groups of people together, create divisions, or cast others in a negative light. Phrases like “they always…” or “we would never…” can slowly shape your child’s beliefs about entire groups.

By meeting your children where they are, emotionally and developmentally, and maintaining open lines of communication, you can help them navigate the news they encounter and make sense of the world around them. Empower your kids with the knowledge and emotional intelligence to thrive in today’s complex information landscape.

Small Steps to Help your Children Self-Advocate in a Big Way

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Self-advocacy is not an innate skill for everyone. Children are often unfamiliar with the concept because, for the most part, many of their needs are met before they even ask.

In order to introduce self-advocacy skills, parents have to ignore the natural instinct to step in and assist and instead allow their children to recognize, specify, and vocalize their needs.

These three aspects are crucial to help children self-advocate:

Children must have opportunities to recognize when they need something.

They then must practice identifying exactly what they need to help them through the task or challenge.

They need communicative skills to relay that information to others who can provide assistance.

Tips for Parents

Provide children with space to initiate a task or challenge on their own before stepping in to “solve it” for them. This small, hands-off practice allows for three things: (1) Children are given the opportunity to approach the task and problem-solve on their own. (2) They are required to ask for help when they need it, instead of simply waiting for and relying on an adult to intervene. (3) They subconsciously establish self-confidence by independently recognizing their capabilities.
Encourage children to feel comfortable discussing specific obstacles and struggles. Again, a major piece of self-advocacy involves self-awareness because children must know what they need before they can ask for it. It puts children in a vulnerable position when they need to open up about their needs and weaknesses; however, modeling the process shows them that everyone needs help sometimes. Talk about your own struggles in school, sports, social circles, etc. Discuss how you managed those prickly situations and provide examples of how you problem-solved. It is important for children to feel comfortable speaking up when they need help, so a little encouragement goes a long way.

Similarly, parents can help put their child’s self-doubt at ease by clarifying what it means to learn something new. Children often expect instant gratification—they want to “do it right” on the first try. Explain to them that success is sweeter after struggle, that, as they progress through their education, learning should be more and more challenging. Reassure them that they are not expected to know and do everything perfectly every time. They will be much more inclined to speak up and advocate for their needs when they know that immediate perfection is not the expectation, but rather, growth and grit indicate success.

Help your child to feel more comfortable speaking up by encouraging her voice and thanking her when she contributes to conversation and/or problem-solving. Positive reinforcement is great for encouraging the shy or timid child because it sends the message that her opinion has worth. When a reluctant child does speak up, it is important to praise that effort to show that her opinion is valued. Even asking something as simple as, “What movie do you think we should watch tonight?” opens the door for your child to share an opinion.

When applicable, remind children of their special education services and accommodations and when to advocate for those supports. Placing a laminated “at a glance” sheet in your child’s binder that lists his accommodations and supports is a great start when familiarizing him with his IEP or 504 plan. The reference sheet acts, not only as a reminder of the accommodations, but also as a prompt for a reluctant child to speak up for himself when his needs are not being met. Sometimes, especially for children with executive functioning or processing difficulties, students may struggle to specify exactly what they need to move forward in a complex task. They know that they’re stuck, but they don’t know what is tripping them up or how to move through the hurdle. Obviously, this can be frustrating for a child. The accommodations grid acts as a visual self-advocacy reminder that lists the child’s personal “tools” to support them in the classroom.

Self-care for Children

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There has been a great deal of talk about the importance of self-care. The COVID-19 pandemic has created a great deal of stress, worry, and unease for all of us. What we don’t hear enough about, however, is how crucial self-care can be for children’s well-being. During this time that adults need to preserve their own mental health and well-being, they must also tend to their children who require the same, if not more, self-care. Like general hygiene routines, children must be instructed on how to take care of themselves—this includes emotional care, too!

 

Youngsters may initially find it difficult to actually place their feelings into a category. This is especially true in the heat of the moment. Instead of clearly articulating their feelings, kids may just lash out, cry, or shut down. When this happens, parents typically scurry to diffuse the situation quickly—rightfully so—rather than attempting an in-depth conversation about recognizing feelings before they erupt. Yet there are proactive measures that can be taken. To ease future emotional moments, try the following:

 

  • Parents can help little ones recognize and verbalize their feelings by explaining the difference between a situation that might make one angry versus scared or upset.
  • Use scenarios that relate to your child’s age and interests and speak about these experiences hypothetically. Use the word “pretend” as your term to signify each scenario as strictly practice for identifying future feelings/emotions.
  • For children that have specific social needs, visuals are helpful when teaching and discussing abstract concepts such as frustration, loneliness, etc. Consider using cartoons or emojis to help children visualize and conceptualize scenarios with particular emotions and facial expressions.
  • Parents can also encourage kids to clarify the level of emotion that they are experiencing with a rating scale of some sort. For instance, a “1” would indicate a mild level of joy, anger, sorrow, etc., while a “5” would signify an extreme level of feelings.
  • As kids get older, parents can encourage more advanced forms of expression, such as journaling, drawing, painting, photography, meditating, etc.
  • For many kids, expressing and expelling pent up emotions comes with physical activities. When children are struggling with stress, frustration, anger, etc., parents can prompt activities such as jogging, roller blading, juggling a soccer ball, kickboxing, dancing, golf, and any other sport or physical activity to release energy, center one’s focus, and mediate aggression.

 

In addition to recognizing emotional triggers, part of self-care involves removal from situations that could be emotionally toxic. Like all social-emotional skills, this comes with practice. For children, it can be especially difficult to speak up and advocate for themselves when they need a break or a breather, but this can be greatly beneficial for mental health and well-being.

 

Therefore, in addition to recognizing one’s feelings, parents will want to encourage children to speak up when they are reaching the emotional threshold. Strategies could include:

 

  • Asking teachers or other adults for a “brain break” when frustration hits. This could be as simple as taking a short walk in the hallway or getting a sip of water to cool down.
  • Creating a hand signal or code word for children who are hesitant to voice their feelings. When kids say this word or give the specific signal, parents know then that he/she needs a moment to himself.
  • Explaining to children that everyone, no matter how social or friendly they are, needs a break from the crowd sometimes. Make them feel comfortable taking that time for themselves to calm down, collect their thoughts, or just be alone for a moment.
  • Similarly, in times of stress, children can find comfort in positive self-talk. But again, this is a learned practice—parents will want to model positive self-talk to demonstrate how it works. If a child is feeling anxious about a competition or test, practice soothing self-talk strategies to boost confidence and lower anxiety. Silent mantras such as, “You will do your best!” “You worked really hard for this!” “Everyone is already proud of your accomplishments!” go a long way when pepping children up.

Essential Building Blocks for Reading Comprehension, Part II

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As mentioned in part one, much of the reason that young learners might struggle with reading comprehension is the fact that the process involves a compilation of other complex skills. Such foundational skills necessary for children to begin to master reading comprehension include: fluency, phonemic awareness, accessing prior knowledge/making connections, vocabulary, syntactical rules/conventions, working memory, and attentiveness. 

 

Vocabulary Strategies

  • Instruct children about specific vocabulary terms, but make sure that the new words are connected to something they are currently reading, seeing, hearing, or learning about. It is important to avoid teaching vocabulary “in a vacuum.” Vocabulary words taught at random or with little context or connectivity to prior knowledge is not likely to make it into a child’s lexicon.
  • Pre–teach new vocabulary terms by relating them to concepts and terms that your child already knows. Then, when she encounters the word in a text, she will have prior exposure to the word and some sense of understanding.
  • Utilize root word instruction and practices. This might include creating root word charts with examples, opposite T-charts, visual word tree trunks with various prefixes and suffixes. Practice making new or nonexistent words using roots as a silly way to grasp root word meanings.
  • Use synonyms casually when speaking to your child.
  • Create a word web wall and add to the web as you make connections between new words.
  • Emphasize context clues while reading aloud; model how to actively engage with new words by making comments like, “I wonder what this might mean in the sentence given the surrounding information…”

 

Syntax Rules and Conventions

  • Ask your child to rearrange the words in the sentence, but maintain the same meaning. For example, given the sentence “You can watch a show after you have finished your homework.” Your child should rephrase by saying something like, “You must finish your homework before you can watch a show.”
  • Demonstrate different ways in which sentences can be combined, separated, or punctuated. The key is to show them that, even with variations in sentence structure, the phrases mean the same thing.
  • Model the process of summarizing a short excerpt or sentence. Then explain how paraphrasing is slightly different. Practice this process aloud together.
  • Exaggerate the purpose of punctuation while reading aloud to emphasize each punctuation mark’s function. 
  • Provide examples of how punctuation can drastically change the underlying meaning of a sentence. One favorite example is, “Let’s eat, Grandma!” vs. “Let’s eat Grandma!”
  • Find fill-in-the-blank reading options, where children are provided with word banks or suggestions on each page, but must use the context of the story to correctly complete each missing word.

 

Working Memory and Attention Strategies

  • Purposefully chunk down larger sections of text while reading aloud. Then ask clarifying questions or practice summarizing the section before moving to the next passage or chunk.
  • Ask your child to make predictions while reading to practice recalling and utilizing details that have already been mentioned in the text.
  • Plan for engaging questions while reading. Parents should preview the text and think about ways in which to connect the details to other aspects of a child’s life. Ask critical thinking questions as well, such as, “Why do you think the character did that?” “What do you think she meant when she said…?” “How would you have reacted differently if you were in the story?”
  • Sketch a visual timeline of events while reading. This doesn’t have to be a detailed, moment-by-moment recollection; you can use bullet points on sticky notes, a small white board, or index cards with events 1-3 on them. Be sure to deliberately emphasize the use of transition words, especially when focusing on chronological summaries.
  • Listen to an audio version of the text while following along with the physical book.
  • When reading together, once you reach the bottom of a page, ask your child which detail stands out to her the most. If she’s unable to recall a significant detail, encourage rereading.
  • Remove all distractions while reading, including background noise, cell phones/screens, etc. You can also find texts with larger print, reduced text per page, and print with extra space between paragraphs to help children visually focus on one aspect of the text at a time.

Self-care for Children

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There has been a great deal of talk about the importance of self-care. The COVID-19 pandemic has created a great deal of stress, worry, and unease for all of us. What we don’t hear enough about, however, is how crucial self-care can be for children’s well-being. During this time that adults need to preserve their own mental health and well-being, they must also tend to their children who require the same, if not more, self-care. Like general hygiene routines, children must be instructed on how to take care of themselves—this includes emotional care, too!

 

Youngsters may initially find it difficult to actually place their feelings into a category. This is especially true in the heat of the moment. Instead of clearly articulating their feelings, kids may just lash out, cry, or shut down. When this happens, parents typically scurry to diffuse the situation quickly—rightfully so—rather than attempting an in-depth conversation about recognizing feelings before they erupt. Yet there are proactive measures that can be taken. To ease future emotional moments, try the following:

 

  • Parents can help little ones recognize and verbalize their feelings by explaining the difference between a situation that might make one angry versus scared or upset.
  • Use scenarios that relate to your child’s age and interests and speak about these experiences hypothetically. Use the word “pretend” as your term to signify each scenario as strictly practice for identifying future feelings/emotions.
  • For children that have specific social needs, visuals are helpful when teaching and discussing abstract concepts such as frustration, loneliness, etc. Consider using cartoons or emojis to help children visualize and conceptualize scenarios with particular emotions and facial expressions.
  • Parents can also encourage kids to clarify the level of emotion that they are experiencing with a rating scale of some sort. For instance, a “1” would indicate a mild level of joy, anger, sorrow, etc., while a “5” would signify an extreme level of feelings.
  • As kids get older, parents can encourage more advanced forms of expression, such as journaling, drawing, painting, photography, meditating, etc.
  • For many kids, expressing and expelling pent up emotions comes with physical activities. When children are struggling with stress, frustration, anger, etc., parents can prompt activities such as jogging, roller blading, juggling a soccer ball, kickboxing, dancing, golf, and any other sport or physical activity to release energy, center one’s focus, and mediate aggression.

 

In addition to recognizing emotional triggers, part of self-care involves removal from situations that could be emotionally toxic. Like all social-emotional skills, this comes with practice. For children, it can be especially difficult to speak up and advocate for themselves when they need a break or a breather, but this can be greatly beneficial for mental health and well-being.

 

Therefore, in addition to recognizing one’s feelings, parents will want to encourage children to speak up when they are reaching the emotional threshold. Strategies could include:

 

  • Asking teachers or other adults for a “brain break” when frustration hits. This could be as simple as taking a short walk in the hallway or getting a sip of water to cool down.
  • Creating a hand signal or code word for children who are hesitant to voice their feelings. When kids say this word or give the specific signal, parents know then that he/she needs a moment to himself.
  • Explaining to children that everyone, no matter how social or friendly they are, needs a break from the crowd sometimes. Make them feel comfortable taking that time for themselves to calm down, collect their thoughts, or just be alone for a moment.
  • Similarly, in times of stress, children can find comfort in positive self-talk. But again, this is a learned practice—parents will want to model positive self-talk to demonstrate how it works. If a child is feeling anxious about a competition or test, practice soothing self-talk strategies to boost confidence and lower anxiety. Silent mantras such as, “You will do your best!” “You worked really hard for this!” “Everyone is already proud of your accomplishments!” go a long way when pepping children up.

Management Strategies for Noncompliance

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Strong-willed children bring character, fierce energy, and clear opinions into the classroom, which are all positive attributes that help to stimulate engagement and learning. However, when fervid determination crosses the threshold of acceptable behavior, teachers are often left in a sticky situation when deciding how to proceed with a defiant student.

Keep a level head

When given an instruction or directive, such as, “Please sit in your assigned seat,” students are generally expected to oblige or at least attempt to follow the request. You may be met with an eye-roll or exasperated retort, but 9 times out of 10, the request will be a non-issue. However, when a student is outright noncompliant, it is important that the teacher consider the potential catalyst of the defiant response. Often, this type of isolated obstinance, especially when it occurs out of nowhere, is a response to some unknown frustration or concern. The frustration may not even be related to this particular class or the directive. Because the trigger is typically unknown, teachers can assuage the emotions by considering how to de-escalate the situation before reacting. This is easier said than done, but suggestions might include:

  • Walk away to provide the student with a moment on his own to consider the request or directive; this also allows you to take a breath before asking again.
  • Provide the student with a reasonable alternative, such as sitting in his assigned seat or sitting up front away from other students.
  • Calmly rephrase the directive in a soft manner that is only audible to the individual child. Too often, non-compliance arises from a public power struggle, so a defiant student is less likely to comply when he feels as though he is performing as “the rebel” for an audience of peers.

Consider the individual personality involved

When confronted with what could be considered defiance or task-refusal, teachers should pause to consider whether the student is actively defying the command, or if there is a misunderstanding. For instance, a student who struggles with auditory processing may fail to respond immediately. On the outside, she may appear to be ignoring you, but in actuality, she is simply interpreting the request at a slower rate. Similarly, a student with ADHD may also need a few additional moments or some repetition to grasp the directive—this isn’t defiance. Students with autism may also present as noncompliant at times. Typically, this refusal is linked to a lapse in social cues and/or a need for further clarification. It is not unusual for students on the spectrum to require an explanation of why they are being asked to do something. Again, this is not meant as a defiant remark. The “why” question is quite literally asked as a means of gaining further explanation in order to meaningfully invest in the task.

 

Provide alternatives, but hold your ground

When a student has dug his heels in, another option is for the teacher to present opportunities for student choice. This doesn’t mean going back on your word. If a student is refusing to complete an assignment, provide him with the choice to complete it now or at lunch. If a student is hesitant to read aloud, give her the choice of which passage she’d prefer to read. A student who is demanding to go to the bathroom can go, but only after he’s completed the front of the worksheet. These options allow students to negotiate, but only on the teacher’s terms. In essence, you’re giving an inch without permitting the student to take a mile.

Curb Your Words: Remedies for Foul Language

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For preschoolers and early elementary-age children, “bad words” might range from potty language and/or bodily function-themed terms to outright curse words. In most instances, youngsters are experimenting with language from a few different angles. 1) They are likely completely unaware of what these adult curse words mean, but they are using them simply because they have heard them from someone; it’s a new term for them to try out. 2) They are preoccupied with “gross” conversations because they have witnessed the giggly or embarrassed reactions from their parents, i.e., they’re just being ornery. 3) They are experimenting with pushing boundaries and testing limits of what they can and cannot get away with saying. 

In instances when children naively blurt out a curse word, but clearly have no idea what the word means or how it is inappropriate, parents should tread lightly. Try ignoring the word this first time. A reaction, whether amusement, embarrassment, or outrage could inadvertently reinforce the behavior. If your child uses the word again, it’s time to have a brief but firm conversation. Explain to him that those sorts of words are inappropriate and unkind. Firmly state that he should not use them anytime. 

If your child says something hurtful to or about someone else, explain how unkind comments can really upset others. Social-emotional skills are still developing at this early age, so empathy needs to be explicitly taught. Ask your child how she would feel if someone called her “ugly” or “dumb.” Segue to a conversation about appropriate ways to express feelings without name-calling. Then discuss the importance of a genuine apology when someone’s feelings are hurt. 

Make sure to practice what you preach at home. We all slip with our words, especially during emotionally intense moments. However, it is important to acknowledge your own mistake to solidify expectations at home. Correct yourself so that your child knows that rules about “bad words” apply to the whole family. With older siblings, it is especially important to have a separate conversation about setting a good example with younger brothers and sisters. Explain that, like it or not, younger siblings look up to their big brothers and sisters—so they must be careful about what they are saying and doing around impressionable siblings. 

Parents can also preemptively intervene by monitoring what children are listening to with regard to music, movies, and television. Too often, we adults are desensitized to the inappropriate nature of our favorite songs and shows. If we’re not careful, children will follow our lead and sing along to distasteful lyrics, unknowingly spouting any number of inappropriate terms. Preprogram kid-friendly radio stations and set restrictions on live and streaming TV options. Remember that sites such as YouTube can also be set with restrictions.

Start the School Year with Self-Advocacy

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Self-advocacy is not an innate skill for everyone. Children, especially, are often unfamiliar with the concept. This is because, for the most part, many of their needs have been met before they even ask.

In order to introduce self-advocacy skills, parents have to ignore the natural instinct to step in and assist and instead allow their children to recognize, specify, and vocalize their needs. These three aspects are crucial for enacting self-advocacy: children must have opportunities to recognize when they need something; they then need practice identifying exactly what they need that is going to help them through the task or challenge; finally, they need communicative skills to relay that information to others who can provide assistance.

Tips for Parents
Provide children with space to initiate a task or challenge on their own before stepping in to “solve it” for them. This small, hands-off practice allows for three things: (1) Children are given the opportunity to approach the task and problem-solve on their own. (2) They are required to ask for help when they need it, instead of simply waiting for and relying on an adult to intervene. (3) They subconsciously establish self-confidence by independently recognizing their capabilities.
Encourage children to feel comfortable discussing specific obstacles and struggles. Again, a major piece of self-advocacy involves self-awareness because children must know what they need before they can ask for it. It puts children in a vulnerable position when they need to open up about their needs and weaknesses; however, modeling the process shows them that everyone needs help sometimes. Talk about your own struggles in school, sports, social circles, etc. Discuss how you managed those prickly situations and provide examples of how you problem-solved. It is important for children to feel comfortable speaking up when they need help, so a little encouragement goes a long way.

Similarly, parents can help put their child’s self-doubt at ease by clarifying what it means to learn something new. Children often expect instant gratification—they want to “do it right” on the first try. Explain to them that success is sweeter after struggle, that, as they progress through their education, learning should be more and more challenging. Reassure them that they are not expected to know and do everything perfectly every time. They will be much more inclined to speak up and advocate for their needs when they know that immediate perfection is not the expectation, but rather, growth and grit indicate success.

Help your child to feel more comfortable speaking up by encouraging her voice and thanking her when she contributes to conversation and/or problem-solving. Positive reinforcement is great for encouraging the shy or timid child because it sends the message that her opinion has worth. When a reluctant child does speak up, it is important to praise that effort to show that her opinion is valued. Even asking something as simple as, “What movie do you think we should watch tonight?” opens the door for your child to share an opinion.

When applicable, remind children of their special education services and accommodations and when to advocate for those supports. Placing a laminated “at a glance” sheet in your child’s binder that lists his accommodations and supports is a great start when familiarizing him with his IEP or 504 plan. The reference sheet acts, not only as a reminder of the accommodations, but also as a prompt for a reluctant child to speak up for himself when his needs are not being met. Sometimes, especially for children with executive functioning or processing difficulties, students may struggle to specify exactly what they need to move forward in a complex task. They know that they’re stuck, but they don’t know what is tripping them up or how to move through the hurdle. Obviously, this can be frustrating for a child. The accommodations grid acts as a visual self-advocacy reminder that lists the child’s personal “tools” to support them in the classroom.