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Curb Your Words: Remedies for Foul Language

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For preschoolers and early elementary-age children, “bad words” might range from potty language and/or bodily function-themed terms to outright curse words. In most instances, youngsters are experimenting with language from a few different angles. 1) They are likely completely unaware of what these adult curse words mean, but they are using them simply because they have heard them from someone; it’s a new term for them to try out. 2) They are preoccupied with “gross” conversations because they have witnessed the giggly or embarrassed reactions from their parents, i.e., they’re just being ornery. 3) They are experimenting with pushing boundaries and testing limits of what they can and cannot get away with saying. 

In instances when children naively blurt out a curse word, but clearly have no idea what the word means or how it is inappropriate, parents should tread lightly. Try ignoring the word this first time. A reaction, whether amusement, embarrassment, or outrage could inadvertently reinforce the behavior. If your child uses the word again, it’s time to have a brief but firm conversation. Explain to him that those sorts of words are inappropriate and unkind. Firmly state that he should not use them anytime. 

If your child says something hurtful to or about someone else, explain how unkind comments can really upset others. Social-emotional skills are still developing at this early age, so empathy needs to be explicitly taught. Ask your child how she would feel if someone called her “ugly” or “dumb.” Segue to a conversation about appropriate ways to express feelings without name-calling. Then discuss the importance of a genuine apology when someone’s feelings are hurt. 

Make sure to practice what you preach at home. We all slip with our words, especially during emotionally intense moments. However, it is important to acknowledge your own mistake to solidify expectations at home. Correct yourself so that your child knows that rules about “bad words” apply to the whole family. With older siblings, it is especially important to have a separate conversation about setting a good example with younger brothers and sisters. Explain that, like it or not, younger siblings look up to their big brothers and sisters—so they must be careful about what they are saying and doing around impressionable siblings. 

Parents can also preemptively intervene by monitoring what children are listening to with regard to music, movies, and television. Too often, we adults are desensitized to the inappropriate nature of our favorite songs and shows. If we’re not careful, children will follow our lead and sing along to distasteful lyrics, unknowingly spouting any number of inappropriate terms. Preprogram kid-friendly radio stations and set restrictions on live and streaming TV options. Remember that sites such as YouTube can also be set with restrictions.

How to Acquire New Vocabulary: At the Middle School Level

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While vocabulary instruction has drastically changed in the past decade, some of the basic principles of language acquisition still pertain to building students’ vocabulary. For instance, a voracious appetite for reading has long been linked to a stronger vocabulary—and this belief still stands, as it is widely supported by research. Additionally, repeated exposure over time also helps to solidify words to memory. Both of these basic methods, reading and repetition, are still utilized in classrooms today.

However, best practices focus on more than mere memorization. Vocabulary acquisition can and should be taken to the next step to ensure that terms are not only committed to memory, but are essentially committed to a student’s academic and everyday language.

Teach connotation: Too often, direct vocabulary instruction relies on a student’s memorization or understanding of a word’s definition—which makes sense since students must know what a word means before adding it to their lexicon. However, if focusing solely on a word’s definition, students are missing a key aspect of the importance of vocabulary, which involves context and connotation. Vocabulary instruction is more than knowing the meaning of a word—it’s the ability to choose the most appropriate form of a word or term for a specific context or purpose. Take the words smell, scent, odor, fragrance, and aroma. The definition of each of these terms is rather similar; at a glance, students may declare these terms to be synonymous. However, teaching these words in their appropriate contexts and with an understood connotation allows students to see how each of these so-called synonyms would serve a strikingly different purpose.

Scent, fragrance, and aroma all have a generally positive connotation. Scent and fragrance are more frequently used when describing non-food items like flowers, perfume, natural surroundings, etc. Aroma differs slightly in that it often denotes a combination of smells, like a laundry room’s aroma of fresh cotton, rain, and rose petals, for example. Odor, conversely, typically has a negative connotation. You wouldn’t likely want to describe someone’s cooking by saying that it has a “unique odor.” Something with an odor is usually deemed smelly, stinky or unpleasant. So, even the simple practice of matching scenarios to their most appropriate terms helps middle schoolers to begin to see the value in vocabulary. Words are much more than their definitions; they allow speakers and writers to specify more precisely depending on the context or situation.

Teach using synonym/antonym games: Another method to help prompt middle schoolers to step outside of their everyday language boxes involves a modified skit from the game show “Whose Line is it Anyway?” Have students sit in a circle. Explain that students will go from person to person saying essentially the same phrase, “I feel happy.” The catch, however, is that students must replace the word happy with a new synonym each time. If a student cannot think of a new synonym for the initial emotion, he or she is eliminate from the circle. After a while, switch from synonyms to antonyms. For instance, students would respond to “I feel happy” with “I feel…sad, forlorn, melancholy, depressed, low, glum, gloomy, blue, unhappy, negative, sullen, etc. The key here is for students to begin to see the vastness of their options for expressing and expanding upon a simple emotion such as “happy.”

Encourage the use of expressive words in student writing: Once vocabulary instruction is solidly underway, begin to track overused, misused, or “elementary-level” terms in student writing. Prompt students to be more specific when saying that they “went” somewhere. Perhaps they moseyed to the store; strolled to the store; travelled to the store; wandered to the store; meandered to the store; rushed to the store. Again, the point is for students to see the plethora of options at their disposal when writing or speaking. The more they practice, the more equipped they’ll be to say precisely what they mean.