A Teen’s First Job Pt. I

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So your teen is set on part-time employment to make some extra spending money—great news! However, there are several discussions that should happen before teens take the plunge and make that serious commitment.

 

Encourage your teen to start by brainstorming his/her interests

One solid starting point when teens begin considering a part-time job is to point them in the direction of their own interests. It is much more enjoyable to invest your time and work somewhere when the job revolves around things you enjoy. Ask teens to think about what they like—then brainstorm from there.

 

    • If he/she prefers the outdoors, consider the following options: lawn mowing, mulching or other landscaping jobs, dog walking, raking leaves, assisting a summer camp, lifeguarding, bicycle delivery service, park service, etc.
    • If he/she enjoys animals, consider applying for dog or cat sitting, pet stores, zoo assistance, pet groomers, pet training schools, pet boarding companies, veterinary help, or rescue organizations.
    • If he/she is interested in helping others, think about retirement communities, church camps, child care programs, babysitting, food/clothing/book collection for the needy, hospitals or clinics, and programs to help people with disabilities or Special Olympics.
    • If he/she prefers art or literature, consider employment at local bookstores, libraries, museums, painting/crafting studios, music venues, or local newspaper or magazine publications.

 

Consider how the work schedule will fit in with life BEFORE applying

As much as teens may be thinking about all of the wonderful ways in which a little extra cash can help them, they need to really think about the time commitment that this part-time job will require. If school comes first, this potential job will come second—meaning that activities with friends, spontaneous weekend trips, and hangouts will all be pushed to the backburner. With this level of commitment, your child will need to consider the following:

 

  • How much time he/she is able to commit per week; some employers will want to hire only when employees can work a minimum of 10 hours per week, for example. You will need to sit down as a family and really crunch the numbers to ensure that the hours required for the job are realistic for your teen’s prior commitments.
  • Logically speaking, how would your teen get to and from his place of employment? If he has a car, that is much more manageable. However, if he isn’t driving yet, or shares the family car, public transportation may need to be arranged. Does he know the bus loops? Is the job within a walkable or bikeable distance? How long would he need to carve out in order make it to his shifts on time?
  • Your teen must also be prepared to make scheduling sacrifices. Besides school work and family obligations, the job will have to come first. That might mean missing the big game, a last-minute ski trip, or having to decline someone’s sweet 16. Will it be a bummer? Yes, but that is the level of commitment that even a part-time job will require. Teens must be prepared to say “no” when a social event conflicts with the work schedule or weekend shift. If they are not ready to sacrifice fun for funds, then it is not quite time for a job yet.
  • Tardiness at work is not the same thing as tardiness in school—there is no detention as retribution. Instead, if your teen is late to work, she must be prepared to face the difficult, sometime irreparable consequences. Discuss the fact that both the employer and your teen’s fellow coworkers are relying on her to show up on time. Being late to work often has ripple effects of which your teen may need to be reminded. Her tardiness might mean that customers have to wait, the business may lose money, other employees may have to cover her absence. Essentially, tardiness is a reflection of one’s level of care and responsibility. Remind your teen that showing up late, even once without notice or a justifiable reason, is a very bad look.

A Change of Perspective: Activities for the Classroom

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While viewpoints and perspectives tend to be seen as literature-based concepts, learners can truly benefit from this critical thinking skill in any academic content. Why is perspective-taking an important skill? Of course there are the obvious social implications that hinge on one’s ability to see things from another’s vantage point—like developing empathy, navigating others’ emotions, and building deeper connections with peers. In addition, students who are able to cognizantly adopt a different perspective while learning also initiate a better understanding of the content because they are engaging with it in a new or complex way.

 

Below are classroom suggestions and various activities that foster collaboration while encouraging learners to view subjects and opinions from a different lens.

 

  • Optical illusion images are great resources for introducing the concept of multiple perspectives to students, especially for the younger groups. Images like “The old woman/young lady” are natural discussion starters for students to begin to use alternate viewpoints. Teachers can collect and project optical illusion images for students to view. Ask students to remain silent while viewing, but to capture what they seen on a capture sheet for later discussion. After an initial viewing, ask students to pair up with someone that had at least one different observation or conflicting answer on the capture sheet. Then allow pairs to explain their viewpoints to one another.
  • Visuals, such as photos from news articles, magazines, graphic novels, or even stock photos can be the springboard for introducing the concept of perspective-taking with students. Display an image from the local newspaper, preferably one that exhibits or elicits an emotion. Without providing any context or headline, ask students to respond by writing the emotion that the subject or onlooker in the photo might be feeling. Ask students to discuss in groups, specifically focusing on why they think the person in the photo feels this particular way. Next, provide students with the text or article—ask them if their assumptions were correct. As the conversation progresses, ask students to consider the last time that they felt a similar emotion. What caused it? How was their scenario different from the actual news article/event? These group discussions allow students to not only connect with and relate to the article, but also connect with each other through speaking and listening.
  • A lesson around homophones and homographs can be a great way to spark discussions about perspectives and cultural implications. For instance, take a look at the homographs below:

minute – tiny OR a unit of time

moped – behavior demonstrating sadness OR a motorcycle

number – more numb OR a numerical value

row – a line OR to propel a boat

sewer – a drain OR a person who sews

wave – to greet someone by moving the hand OR sea water coming into shore

Depending on a person’s experiences, country/language of origin, home life, environment, etc., the homographs above could generate a number of different instantaneous visuals or subconscious thoughts from person to person. Especially as students age and their abilities to take different vantage points evolves, it is important that they explore the reasons behind all of our different perspectives. Many times, our cultural identities shroud our understanding of the “other side.” Therefore, these intentional practices allow students to come face-to-face with their own perspectives and to question them.

  • “Save the last word for me” is a close reading activity that also prompts discussion and alternate viewpoints. Students begin by reading the same passage independently. Readers are instructed to mark or highlight the line or sentence that they believed was most significant within the passage. One volunteer reads his chosen/highlighted sentence, but provides no reasoning or explanation as to why he considers it to be the most significant. Group mates must add their own interpretation of why that line is significant to the passage; the original volunteer speaks last and confirms/elaborates/clarifies his original choice. This activity encourages discourse around a common text, but relies heavily on the task of “getting into another person’s head.” Students must consider why their peer selected that specific line as significant, and can then speak on how they agree or perhaps found a different line to be more crucial.

 

Enrichment in the Classroom

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Differentiation is a best practice for teaching and learning that you will hopefully see in every classroom. However, much of the focus and attention for differentiating instruction and materials goes towards the neediest students, those who struggle to grasp concepts and information that would be deemed on-level or grade-level appropriate. And rightfully so. It is essential that education be accessible to every level of learner. However, a natural oversight occurs when teachers differentiate mostly for the underachieving students; the gifted, above grade-level, overachievers are left with little enrichment.

 

What does classroom enrichment involve?

Enrichment activities in the classroom can take numerous forms and do not necessarily always involve prescribed lessons from the curriculum. Enrichment encourages students to take a more expansive or in-depth look at a concept or topic, perhaps by further research, approaching it with a different lens or perspective, or connecting the subject to a more meaningful or rewarding facet of the real world. Whatever the activity may involve, the notion or goal is typically the same—encourage further exploration, intrinsic curiosity, and lifelong learning.

 

Key components of enrichment

  • Teachers must use appropriate data and assessment information as guidelines to identify important aspects such as reading level, mathematical competency, etc. These data points allow teachers to provide materials that will truly elevate or enhance the learning without introducing a discouraging level of difficulty.
  • Enrichment must be individualized and match a learner’s capabilities. Assessments to gauge Lexile (reading) levels or math grade-level proficiency allow teachers to see exactly how to group students effectively for enrichment activities. Pairing or grouping students based on these data points allows students to have the option to work collaboratively among learners with similar interests and abilities.
  • Enrichment activities should account for student choice. This means that, while each option for enrichment should revolve around a similar learning goal, the method by which students arrive at that objective can be vastly different depending on their interests or selections.
  • Enrichment should connect to prior knowledge and/or account for cross-curricular connections.

Considerations for enrichment

  • If you, as the teacher, had unlimited time to spend on a subject, genre, topic, concept, etc., what would you want students to explore? Use the answer to this question as the springboard for designing enrichment opportunities.
  • What have students asked to read or learn about? Create a running list of topics in which students have expressed interest. Then begin to curate a collection of texts involving these topics so that students can begin to explore their interests if completing additional research.
  • In what way will students be able to work independently when completing an enrichment activity? Conversely, what would they need additional instruction or assistance with as they work?
  • How will you account for grades or evaluation of the enrichment activity? These learning experiences should not be seen as extra credit or bonus work that won’t be assessed. Students need to know how these additional activities will contribute to not only their overall learning, but also their overall grade.
  • Enrichment might involve multiple rubrics or tiered projects/assignments. The idea behind multiple rubrics is that students are evaluated based on their individual capabilities involving the project or task. Similarly, tiered assignments require students to meet the same basic objectives, but incorporate varying levels of difficulty using text complexity, advanced vocabulary, higher order thinking questions, and different levels of analysis.

Enrichment at Home

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Enrichment is a typical educational buzzword; however, its utility is not limited to the classroom. Parents can play a major role in their child’s academic enrichment—and it is not as intimidating as it may seem. Enrichment does not have to adhere to a specific curriculum, but rather includes any activity that fosters a learning experience.

 

What are enrichment activities?

Enrichment activities at home can take infinite forms and do not necessarily mirror a typical classroom lesson or activity. Enrichment encourages learners to take a more expansive or in-depth look at a concept or topic, perhaps by further research, approaching it with a different lens or perspective, or connecting the subject to a more meaningful or rewarding facet of the real world. Whatever the activity may involve, the notion or goal is typically the same—encourage further exploration, intrinsic curiosity, and lifelong learning.

 

Considerations for enrichment at home

  • First, enrichment at home or in the classroom should never be reduced to extra practice, bonus worksheets, or additional math problems. The key to worthwhile enrichment activities is that they deepen or expand upon a learner’s understanding—they do not simply bombard the learner with additional assignments.
  • Enrichment at home should at least loosely connect to something that your child is learning or has learned in school. However, the enrichment activity itself can really go in any direction once the connection to prior knowledge has been made. This allows children to access their prior knowledge and build upon that through the enrichment activity. Your child is also able to make real-world connections from these learning experiences outside of the classroom.
  • What does your child like to read or study? Create a running list of topics that your child has expressed interest in and use that list to search for learning opportunities around the community that connect to these topics. Kids can get in on the research as well, which helps them to foster natural curiosity and intrinsic motivation for learning.
  • Consider certain learning opportunities that the whole family can partake in, but be sure that the enrichment activity is age-appropriate. This is not the time to overwhelm young learners with topics or concepts that are too abstract, complex, or mature.
  • Enrichment activities should rely heavily on your child’s choices or interests; this is not an opportunity for parents to persuade or nudge a learner’s interests to match their own.

 

Ideas for enrichment at home

  • If your child has read a book for school of particular interest, explore similar titles or other works by the same author to encourage reading for pleasure. Amazon or Barnes and Noble offer easy online searches to provide full lists of novels that other readers enjoyed based on the title you search.
  • Similarly, if a specific genre has grabbed your child’s attention, use that as a springboard for searching other titles or works that fall into the genre or subgenre.
  • If children are learning about a certain time period, author, musician, artist, or country (which they definitely are in school), do a little research of exhibits, documentaries, book talks, movies, or concerts that connect to their prior knowledge of the time period or subject area.
  • Use student-centered websites to present new material when children are on vacation or summer break. NewsELA, National Geographic, CNN 10, and the History Channel offer wonderful, grade-level organized resources for further exploration of a range of topics. You can also modify the searches to account for a child’s specific reading level to ensure that texts are accessible, yet challenging.
  • Consider enrichment opportunities that do not necessarily tie directly to an academic content area. Mentorships, volunteer opportunities, clubs and organizations provide participants with a plethora of skills. Children can learn about time management, giving back, environmental preservation, friendship, collaboration, perspective-taking, listening skills, etc.

Hard Truths Part II

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As we discussed in part I, our exploration of pivotal life lessons continues below. These lessons often involve the more difficult truths that reveal themselves organically in the classroom—the teachings that might not necessarily be prescribed in the curriculum, but that can be just as influential and beneficial for adolescents.

 

You’ll attract more bees with honey than you will with vinegar

This metaphor will take a little bit of explanation for teens to truly grasp its meaning; however, the realization is crucial for middle and high schoolers as they begin to navigate their way into early adulthood. Essentially, the proverb encourages students to use kindness, camaraderie, and an agreeable demeanor to assuage an otherwise worthy opponent or adversary. In social situations, especially when power structures or supremacy is imbalanced, it is to one’s benefit to appease, mollify, and react calmly when confronted. Educators can help students to understand this by modeling communicative, persuasive, and argumentative techniques. In showing students how to “work” an adversary more easily by leading with an affable manner, teachers can subtly teach students how to manipulate situations where an imbalance of power might otherwise nullify the student’s position. This hard truth also reminds students of the intense effect that benevolence can have in easing a situation or decision. Adolescents begin to learn that, while we cannot necessarily control another’s decision or behavior, we can have a meaningful impact on how that person reacts to our position or behavior.

 

Adults, including parents and teachers, have made and will continue to make mistakes

It always amazes me to see a student’s reaction when I apologize, admit fault or wrongdoing, or disclose flaws or previous mistakes. Teachers are occasionally held up on an undeserving pedestal, where students unconsciously align that adult with an expectation of faultlessness. Students tend to forget that, just like their peers, we adults are human, too. Parents, teachers, and presumably all authority figures have experienced failures, made mistakes, admitted culpability, and faced blame or defeat. This hard truth is two-fold, really. Adolescents need to know that everyone, including adults and authority figures, have flaws and commit missteps—no one is perfect. They also need to expect that, although they will age, mature, and learn, they will never be immune to errors—we are all a constant work in progress. To help shatter the impossible ideology that anyone in authority should maintain a level of perfect, teachers should be prepared to readily admit their mistakes to students. If we lose our tempers, err in our instruction, or provide misinformation, we must humbly admit these mistakes and use it as a teachable moment. When students witness adults owning a mistake, they begin to realize that to err is to be human. We all have something to gain from admitting our shortcomings or mistakes.

 

Your talents and passions may not coincide—and that’s okay—but don’t abandon either one

Wouldn’t it be nice if the area in which we were gifted or talented was also one of our personal passions? If we could simply master whatever skill, talent, or subject piqued our interests? Well, yes, of course, but the world does not work that way. Middle schoolers and high schoolers are just beginning to uncover their tendencies as learners. They have just begun to understand their strengths and weaknesses, hobbies and interests. That said, it is an important lesson to learn that, while we should always follow our passions and strive to grow our interests, we should also keep a keen eye on our natural talents and areas of strength. What we love to do might not be our greatest strength, and that is okay. It is important for adolescents to foster a growth mindset, meaning that they continue to strategize and work towards their goals, no matter the obstacles or challenges. Similarly, high schoolers should especially try to capitalize on their natural talents, as these could impact college and career options shortly down the road.

Hard Truths Pt. 1

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The middle and high school years are transformative for students, marked by varied sets of challenges and mishaps. In a sense, educators have a front row seat to watch as students learn, grow, mature, and navigate their way through adolescence. Among the daily academic lessons, unit goals, and semester objectives, teachers are also given the opportunity to impart various life lessons. These hard truths are sometimes relayed covertly, often through scenarios that subtly allow students to seemingly come to these conclusions on their own. Other times, teachers impart these life lessons using a direct and straightforward delivery. Whichever the case, I’ve found that some of my most pivotal moments in the classroom, those moments in which relationships are formed and a culture of care is crafted, happen when students are gaining life lessons, rather than focusing solely on academic content.

 

Friendships will change—this is to be expected as people discover who they really are

This concept is especially challenging for middle schoolers, where peer acceptance is paramount. It is important for children and teens to understand that friendships are fluid, and while some friendships can truly last a lifetime, most are fleeting and circumstantial. Remind adolescents that as they grow older, begin to understand themselves better, and branch out socially, they will be more likely to make genuine connections with peers on a deeper level. With these sincere friendships comes the realization that perhaps other acquaintances were more surface level or temporary.

 

You will not always like everyone; not everyone will always like you

Similarly to finding their more authentic social groups, the teenage years are when students begin to discover that, while kindness is essential, there will be plenty of people that simply rub them the wrong way. It is okay and even expected that adolescents will encounter people that they simply do not care to be around. The hard truth, however, is that these “undesirable” peers are in fact going to be around. The key is to learn how to not only coexist, but to cooperate civilly. Does this mean you must befriend everyone you encounter? No, that is not realistic. But just because you are not someone’s biggest fan, does not give you the right to treat them any differently. Common courtesy is not conditional—your rudeness says more about you than it does the person you might dislike.

 

If the smartest, most educated person in the applicant pool cannot work well with others, they are likely to lose that position to a more collaborative/agreeable person with the more modest resume

For high achieving students, this hard truth is, well, hard to hear. Students are used to striving to be the best, know the most, and score the highest. However, that “every man for himself” strategy is becoming less and less desirable in the workplace. Admissions officers, project managers, and even chiefs of surgery will be seeking qualified applicants who are able to work well in collaborative settings. The person who always has to be right, or first, or fastest, or the best is also probably pretty tough to work alongside. This is where social skills truly set people apart. Remind teens that listening, cooperative learning, perspective-taking, and compromise are all exceptionally valuable skills.

Teaching Tolerance in Secondary Classrooms

Teaching Tolerance in Secondary Classrooms

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Much of what goes on in our world makes its way into our classrooms in some form or another. In this sense, many view classrooms or schools in general as microcosms—mini representations of society. Ask any teacher, and tolerance is likely not part of their curriculum. However, much like with a productive and stable society, tolerance plays an essential role in creating a welcoming and productive classroom environment. Fostering a positive environment is no easy task, especially when our world is in the midst of such grave negativity. Tolerance in the classroom takes time, patience, practice, and reflection.

 

Remind students that everyone they meet knows something they don’t. Whether rich, poor, black, white, gay, straight, foreign, or not—every single person has lived a different life, experiencing their own realities and garnering life lessons along the way. Instead of viewing someone’s vastly different experiences as weird or wrong, students should be reminded of the value that varying experiences, perspectives, and lifestyles offer.

 

Change the language of the classroom when it comes to discussing differences. To avoid “othering” certain groups, encourage neutral or positive ways to address differences. Instead of allowing students to use weird, odd, strange, unusual, etc. to describe people, groups, or customs, a positive classroom environment should be one where words like unique, unfamiliar, uncommon, fascinating, diverse, various, or distinctive are used.

 

Approach confrontation with logical questions. Since students bring differing experiences and opinions into the classroom, occasional clashes are to be expected. When this occurs, teachers can use these opportunities as teachable moments by addressing the issue with open, honest, logical conversations. Guided or rhetorical questions also allow students to reflect on their own perspectives and how they react to others. For instance, a teacher might ask, “In what way does his/her different opinion or belief threaten yours?” “Is there a reason that their differences affect you?” “How can we focus more specifically on ourselves and less on how others behave, speak, learn, etc.?” “What do you think you know about certain people? What if you took a moment to consider where these beliefs/opinions come from?” “Saying that someone’s choices are wrong do not necessarily make yours right.” “This argument could simply be de-escalated by considering it a difference of opinions.” All of these talking points prompt students to reflect on their own belief systems while maintaining an open mind towards others.

 

Learn how to recognize your own implicit bias. This is often a difficult practice for teachers—we aim to be impartial, objective, open-minded educators that provide equal opportunities to all of our students. Therefore, recognizing, questioning, and shedding light on our own innate judgments goes against what we are working towards in the classroom. It also summons feelings of discomfort by forcing us to identify our own stereotypes and belief systems. As difficult and uncomfortable as this may be, we must address our own biases before we can ask students to do the same. To foster tolerance, there must first be a foundation of understanding—what better way than to begin with our own reflections?

Create opportunities for students to learn about one another on deeper, more meaningful levels. Free writes, warm up topics, discussion starters, and icebreakers are all optimal opportunities to help build a solid, positive rapport in the classroom. Ask students to respond to questions such as:

 

  • What is one way that your family likes to celebrate an important accomplishment?
  • What types of traditions are unique to your family/community?
  • Do you have any rituals, superstitions, good luck charms, etc.?
  • Where do most family gatherings happen?
  • What important memory from your childhood makes you smile?
  • What does your typical Saturday look like?
  • What do you like to do on a snow day?
Textiquette Part II

Teen Textiquette Part II

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As discussed in “Teen Textiquette Pt. I,” texting is the preferable form of communication among today’s generation of teens and preteens. Because of its prevalence, text messaging can become just as detrimental as it is convenient. Knowing this, parents should set expectations for appropriate etiquette and social protocols when it comes to digital platforms.

 

In the previous blog, we discussed broad-strokes approaches to teaching teens how to handle certain conversations in person, instead of opting for text messaging. Part II is meant to address the more serious consequences of text messages—not only do these messages color the receiver’s perception of the sender, but these messages could potentially tarnish a person’s entire reputation. Without getting too political, it is more important now than ever to instruct teens on appropriate messaging and their digital footprint. These aren’t scare tactics—they are simply meant to inform teenagers about the real-life consequences of poor decision making via text messaging.

 

  • Parents must be ready to have the difficult conversations when it comes to sending photos, videos, or “sexts.” As uncomfortable as this conversation will likely be, it is worth having—and the sooner, the better. As a middle school teacher, I can sadly say with confidence that students as young as 11 and 12 are using snapchat and imessenger to send inappropriate photos and/or videos to peers on a consistent basis. This is not to say that every middle schooler is engaging in these types of conversations; however, the “sexting” is much more prevalent than we would like to realize.

 

  • Too often, preteens and teens find comfort or security in the supposed “short-lived” existence that snapchat advertises. They believe that the photo or video, once viewed or expired, is no longer a threat. This is simply not the case. Parents should be sure to demonstrate just how quickly a “private” or “one-time” photo can be screenshot and shared among any number of people. Teens need to know that just because a photo has disappeared from their phone or account, does not mean that it has vanished completely.

 

  • Similarly, teens must be wary of incriminating texts, photos, videos, etc., as these are becoming more and more of a legal issue. A photo, even if it is not geotagged, can serve as an exact pinpoint to a teen’s whereabouts at an exact time. These records are not private and could be subpoenaed in any instance of a criminal investigation. This may sound overly dramatic—just another made for TV crime drama. However, as we see in the news regularly, bullying, harassment, and even more serious violent criminal charges have been brought to court with the use of cell phone evidence. This evidence includes social media posts as well, so parents must explain that privacy settings are not all that private.

 

  • In addition, posts, photos, check-ins, and tags can pose a serious threat to children and teens if left in the wrong hands. Today’s generation of teenagers simply love to keep a running thread of their everyday activities and whereabouts—making them vulnerable to online predators. Scary? Yes. Realistic? Very much so, unfortunately. Parents should be sure to instruct their teens about how to limit their digital footprint, especially where personal information and specific locations are involved.

 

  • Finally, because we all know that words, especially when written (or typed), cannot be taken back, parents must also instruct teens on how to avoid conflict and subsequent cruelty via text. Because text messaging is less personal—more removed or distant than face-to-face conversations—teens need to be reminded that any hateful or cruel texts still have the power to harm, even more so because they are chronicled. A temporary text argument or rude exchange is a running tab of our worst moments. Therefore, long story short, THINK BEFORE YOU SEND/POST/TAG/SNAP/ETC.
Textiquette

Teen Textiquette Pt. I

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Today’s teenage generation has pretty much grown up with cell phones, Wi-Fi and social media. With technology and connectivity practically rooted in their upbringing, they are arguably the most tech-savvy group to date. However, the combination of the teenage brain, impulsivity, peer pressure, and hormones with a smartphone always within arm’s reach can be disastrous. With this in mind, a few pointers regarding text etiquette can placate common issues before they erupt.

 

Parents can and should be instructing their teen about responsible smartphone use right from the beginning. Much like standard etiquette, manners, and socially acceptable behaviors, text etiquette will need to be explicitly taught. What we adults would consider common sense is likely not in the forefront of the teenage brain. The parts of the brain that monitor impulse control, decision-making, perspective-taking, and sympathy are not fully developed until the late teenage years and into early adulthood. Because of this, teenagers simply do not have the wherewithal to implicitly know how to handle certain situations. Just like teaching children the reason behind placing the napkin in the lap and holding the door for others, parents must be sure to explicitly state the reasons for certain texting protocols. In other words, kids need to understand that text etiquette does not involve arbitrary guidelines; they are important social skills and unwritten rules for appropriate communication via text.

 

  • Avoid using text messaging as the main platform for carrying out a serious conversation with friends or boyfriends/girlfriends. In the same way that an email doesn’t account for the sender’s tone or full intent, text messages lack these components as well. A simple “K…” response can ignite or amplify a conflict. Instruct your teen to handle serious conversations or mediations in person or at least over the phone.
  • Similarly, instruct teens that there are certain things that absolutely should not be said over text message. For instance, a break-up has to be handled face-to-face. Breaking up via text message shows cowardice and disrespect. Will it be harder to do in person? Yes, but it is the right thing to do when ending a relationship. A face-to-face conversation allows teens to explain their position and reasoning, listen to the other person’s feelings, and provide closure—all of which are crucial skills for social emotional growth.
  • Another conversation that should never be handled over text messaging is when your teen is quitting a job. A text message sends the message (no pun intended) that he/she cannot be bothered to have a genuine conversation about the topic. Professionally speaking, even for part-time or after school jobs, sending a text message to quit a job is unprofessional, disrespectful, and shows a lack of maturity. This is also a surefire way to burn that bridge with the employer. Explain to your teen that impressions and reputations in the workplace matter—that it’s not only about image. They will likely want to uphold a positive reputation to be able to ask that employer for a good recommendation or reference in the future.
  • For the same reasons, backing out of a major obligation, like quitting a sports team or cancelling on a scheduled volunteer opportunity, should not be handled via text either. Again, a text message indicates a lack of concern or disregard for the original commitment and can have negative consequences.
Sunday Night Homework

Back to Middle/High School: Combating the Sunday Scaries

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For me, the Sunday scaries began about a week ago, when it became suddenly undeniable that my summer was coming to an abrupt end. Painful as this realization was, I can only imagine it to be even more so unpleasant for my students. Yes, I’m a teacher. And yes, my Sunday night scaries can still be just as brutal as the impending doom that accompanied my Sunday evenings throughout adolescence.  Almost 20 years has passed since my own bouts with middle school anxiousness were at an all-time high, and yet, Sunday scaries can still summon that familiar sense of impending doom. So what is a high schooler (or high school teacher) to do when the scaries rear their ugly heads? Asking for a friend…

 

Stop saying “I’ll do it Sunday”

Quite possibly (and most logically), the reason that Sunday scaries are even a thing is due to the fact that adults and adolescents alike choose to postpone or procrastinate during the weekend. For many of us, Sundays are reserved for cleaning, laundering, meal prepping, etc. High schoolers do the same thing—they put off any homework, projects, or essays until Sunday evening. Teens put school work off until the last minute because it is the last possible thing they would like to do during their weekend reprieve.

 

While this makes perfectly logical sense, teens only compound their stress further and muster up Sunday scaries when they choose to save every task for Sunday night. Furthermore, in putting off these tasks, whether it be school work or chores, the item to be completed becomes that much more dreaded purely because of our previous avoidance. Instead, encourage teens to complete at least part of a large assignment or homework item early on in the weekend.

 

This small modification removes the daunting task of simply sitting down and starting. For many, starting an assignment or essay is the most difficult aspect, and thus, the most avoided. Tackling something headon removes the anxiety associated with the very beginning of the task. In chunking an assignment or essay over the weekend, teens also help themselves with their time management, maintaining focus and attention, and prioritizing the most difficult aspects of the assignment, as opposed to all-out cramming in one sitting.

 

Double check for necessary items beforehand

Again, saving things for the last minute (Sunday night) only allows room for more unforeseeable obstacles and less time to circumvent those obstacles. If middle and high schoolers know that a permission form, essay, or application is due in the early part of the week, Sunday night is NOT the time to realize that they are missing a key component of that form, essay, application, etc. Checking for these essential items during the course of the weekend leaves time for any unexpected emergency to be taken care of so that Sunday scaries are kept at bay.

 

Mark my words: Sunday night is when all printers run out of ink, or paper, or jam, or malfunction, or spontaneously explode. And you better believe that anywhere from two to ten other students will have the same printer “catastrophe” that prohibits them from submitting their essay on Monday morning. High schoolers can avoid this panic attack and their teacher’s subsequent eye-roll by printing ahead of time—it’s much easier to find an open Staples or Office Depot on Saturday afternoon than after 10pm on Sunday.

 

Know your priorities and work accordingly

Organizing tasks appropriately throughout the weekend allows students to identify and prioritize a to-do list. As natural procrastinators can tell you, teens would much prefer to do the easy or fun tasks first. However, this is of no help to them. Parents should encourage teens to get into the habit of completing the more difficult or high-stakes items first.

 

Yes, it may be more enticing to come up with a cheer for the pep rally, but the history research paper should come first. Help middle and high schoolers prioritize their lists by using the “fun” tasks as rewards for completing the difficult items first.

 

Look ahead

Using a small amount of time on Sunday night to look at the week ahead can help to alleviate the Sunday scaries as well. Often times, stress of the unknown or last-minute surprises are what create anxiety for teens. By sitting down and perusing the week’s calendar, families can ensure that a) everyone is on the same page about appointments/events, b) there are no surprises or last-minute to-dos, and c) events and tasks are evenly spaced as to not overbook any member of the family. A combined calendar in a central location also helps to correct the “I didn’t know” or “I forgot” excuse. If everyone is on the same page about the upcoming week, goals are sure to be met.