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Self-care for Children

There has been a great deal of talk about the importance of self-care. The COVID-19 pandemic has created a great deal of stress, worry, and unease for all of us. What we don’t hear enough about, however, is how crucial self-care can be for children’s well-being. During this time that adults need to preserve their own mental health and well-being, they must also tend to their children who require the same, if not more, self-care. Like general hygiene routines, children must be instructed on how to take care of themselves—this includes emotional care, too!

 

Youngsters may initially find it difficult to actually place their feelings into a category. This is especially true in the heat of the moment. Instead of clearly articulating their feelings, kids may just lash out, cry, or shut down. When this happens, parents typically scurry to diffuse the situation quickly—rightfully so—rather than attempting an in-depth conversation about recognizing feelings before they erupt. Yet there are proactive measures that can be taken. To ease future emotional moments, try the following:

 

  • Parents can help little ones recognize and verbalize their feelings by explaining the difference between a situation that might make one angry versus scared or upset.
  • Use scenarios that relate to your child’s age and interests and speak about these experiences hypothetically. Use the word “pretend” as your term to signify each scenario as strictly practice for identifying future feelings/emotions.
  • For children that have specific social needs, visuals are helpful when teaching and discussing abstract concepts such as frustration, loneliness, etc. Consider using cartoons or emojis to help children visualize and conceptualize scenarios with particular emotions and facial expressions.
  • Parents can also encourage kids to clarify the level of emotion that they are experiencing with a rating scale of some sort. For instance, a “1” would indicate a mild level of joy, anger, sorrow, etc., while a “5” would signify an extreme level of feelings.
  • As kids get older, parents can encourage more advanced forms of expression, such as journaling, drawing, painting, photography, meditating, etc.
  • For many kids, expressing and expelling pent up emotions comes with physical activities. When children are struggling with stress, frustration, anger, etc., parents can prompt activities such as jogging, roller blading, juggling a soccer ball, kickboxing, dancing, golf, and any other sport or physical activity to release energy, center one’s focus, and mediate aggression.

 

In addition to recognizing emotional triggers, part of self-care involves removal from situations that could be emotionally toxic. Like all social-emotional skills, this comes with practice. For children, it can be especially difficult to speak up and advocate for themselves when they need a break or a breather, but this can be greatly beneficial for mental health and well-being.

 

Therefore, in addition to recognizing one’s feelings, parents will want to encourage children to speak up when they are reaching the emotional threshold. Strategies could include:

 

  • Asking teachers or other adults for a “brain break” when frustration hits. This could be as simple as taking a short walk in the hallway or getting a sip of water to cool down.
  • Creating a hand signal or code word for children who are hesitant to voice their feelings. When kids say this word or give the specific signal, parents know then that he/she needs a moment to himself.
  • Explaining to children that everyone, no matter how social or friendly they are, needs a break from the crowd sometimes. Make them feel comfortable taking that time for themselves to calm down, collect their thoughts, or just be alone for a moment.
  • Similarly, in times of stress, children can find comfort in positive self-talk. But again, this is a learned practice—parents will want to model positive self-talk to demonstrate how it works. If a child is feeling anxious about a competition or test, practice soothing self-talk strategies to boost confidence and lower anxiety. Silent mantras such as, “You will do your best!” “You worked really hard for this!” “Everyone is already proud of your accomplishments!” go a long way when pepping children up.

Distance Learning with Multiple Children at Home

Distance learning is tedious enough. Between the emails, Zoom meetings, various portals teachers utilize, and workloads from each class, juggling at-home learning during this new “virtual school day” can be a tall order. Even more difficult, though, is this juggling act when there is more than one school-aged child in the home. How can parents possibly manage distance learning for two or more kids? Obviously, this is new territory for everyone. To ease the stress and confusion, we’ve compiled suggestions and strategies to assist families who are learning at home with multiple school-aged children.

 

Designated work areas

One major hurdle when it comes to remote teaching and learning is organization. It should come as no shock that organizing a learning space is paramount to ensuring continuity of learning now that the usual classroom routines and structures have been thrown out the window. Students need to have a designated quiet place to focus, read, correspond, and create. While this seems obvious, many families are struggling to get children to focus on their remote classwork simply because the environment is not conducive for concentration. While the kitchen counter or a child’s bedroom may have previously been the homework area of choice, times have certainly changed—we’re no longer talking about rushed homework tasks in between soccer practice and dinner time.

 

If teachers and parents expect children to sit and focus for an extended amount of time, they need to provide a comfortable space, free of distractions. When siblings are working in close proximity, distractions are bound to emerge. Therefore, it is important that each child has his or her own private work space, equipped with comfortable seating, a laptop or other device, necessary school materials, and some form of desk or surface on which to work. If space is an issue, parents should consider lap desks as an alternative to bulky furniture desks.

 

Headphones 

Headphones are a true lifesaver when it comes to remote learning. Since many teachers are utilizing Zoom calls and other video tools to conduct teaching and learning, students would benefit from noise-cancelling headphones that allow them to focus solely on the instruction. Headphones also spare other house members the headache of trying to block out the instructional videos and video chats.

 

Individual check-in times

Many parents are finding that, on top of their own jobs working from home, they have now suddenly become homeschool teachers of multiple grades levels and content areas—as if everyone doesn’t have enough to deal with right now! To avoid being stretched too thin, parents should consider designating certain time(s) of the day for each child to check-in, seek help, review work, etc. Limit this form of “parental assistance” to a half hour per child if possible. If parents find that a child needs more support, they should communicate with the school and specific teachers about classes and assignments that are becoming unmanageable. To stick to the 30-minute check-in period, children should be encouraged to jot down their necessary questions ahead of time and be prepared to articulate where and how they need assistance. Set a timer so that children know that they are “on the clock” for only a specific amount of time. Whatever questions or issues that they are still having after check-in time has expired should be directed to their teacher.

 

Coordinate brain breaks and snack times

With multiple kids in the house, coordination is key to productive distance learning. Depending on each child’s age and learning needs, siblings may need more or less time for movement, screen-free learning, “brain breaks,” etc. As much as possible, try to establish universal times throughout the day when children break from learning to keep motivation, focus, and energy levels up and running.

 

It is important to move, converse, socialize, play, and create throughout the day to interrupt the monotony of virtual learning; however, if one child is playing outside while the other is concentrating on school work, parents may want to rethink the learning schedule. Allowing simultaneous break times ensures that kids aren’t being distracted by siblings during work sessions. There is no jealousy or “unfairness” factor if siblings are getting a break at the same time. Be consistent with breaks as much as possible; use a timer if necessary to set limits for learning versus playing.

Calming Activities to Destress: For Elementary Schoolers

Finding a sense of calm is likely difficult for kids right now, no matter their age. Our world as we know it has halted. It’s been replaced by what seems like one long, continuous day where there are few happenings that distinguish today from yesterday. It is disconcerting, to say the least. For children and teens, who typically find comfort in normalcy and routines, today’s upended society is even more jarring. Stress is inevitable right now, but there are ways to address it. Read on to browse our list of therapeutic and calming activities for children and teens.

 

Stress-relieving ideas for younger children

  • Cursive writing is sadly a thing of the past—most elementary curricula do not include cursive writing or penmanship anymore. However, this downtime could be a blessing in disguise for children who are eager to learn to write in cursive. A quick Google search will provide parents with countless tracing templates, letter formation practice sheets, and lined handwriting pages for young kids to begin their work with cursive writing. Also, since cursive writing is not typically part of the elementary curriculum anymore, children won’t feel as though they are doing homework or schoolwork. Instead, they will see it as an optional “new” form of writing that they can practice as they please. Additionally, for students with various issues involving fine motor control, some parents find that cursive writing is actually easier for their child. The unbreaking, continuous movement of the pen or pencil connecting the letters is often less labor-intensive.
  • Coloring books have experienced a major revival right now, especially since people are finding themselves with more leisure time. Coloring while listening to soothing music, like instrumental Disney songs, can be a great way for youngsters to pass the time and calm their minds. Better yet, there seems to be a coloring book for every interest, hobby, character, and theme! Coloring is something that the whole family can participate in together. When finished, display your children’s work around the house to showcase their artistic accomplishments!
  • Jump roping and hula hooping are great rhythmic options for kids to embed some cardio into their day. These activities require coordination, concentration, and focus, so they are great for banishing stressful thoughts. You can also turn this practice into a challenge by setting a timer and having your child track his or her hula hoop skills! Just remember, the point of this activity is for your child to take his mind off of stressful thoughts, so if you notice him getting frustrated with the jump rope, it’s time to take a break!
  • Blow bubbles as a mindful moment to practice deep, rhythmic breathing. Bubbles are an outdoor childhood favorite. Not only will young children admire the bubbles’ colorful iridescence, but watching them slowly float away is a calming activity while enjoying some fresh air. Blowing bubbles also provides an opportunity for children to practice mindful, meditative, deep breathing, which helps to reduce stress and bring peace of mind.

Read a book or listen to an audiobook on a rocking chair or porch swing. The consistent rocking back and forth helps to ease stress and relieve tension with soothing motion. There is something comforting about listening to an engaging story while gently rocking that can help center young children if they’re feeling exceptionally distressed.

Making Remote Education Work for Students with Special Education Needs

It is increasingly remarkable to think that just a few weeks ago, students and teachers were still in class, working towards end-of-quarter goals. So much has changed as Covid-19 has spread across the nation, shuttering schools indefinitely and leading students, parents, teachers and administrators to ask: What do we do now?

 

Learning never stops—it just changes course.

Many students were sent home with assignments to complete and deadlines to meet. Others are accessing online materials and connecting remotely with instructors. In some places, students are even taking a short break from the standard curriculum to explore educational videos, podcasts, interactive games and virtual museum tours.

 

The remote education opportunities are seemingly endless—that is, until special learning needs are added to the mix. Then navigating this “new normal” can seem downright impossible.

Although federal law mandates that school systems provide equal access to education for students with learning disabilities, no one seems to know what that means in our current situation. Across the nation, school districts are grappling with how to provide remote education to as many of the seven million impacted students as possible, without defying the law and potentially losing critical funding. Yet, with mere weeks to prepare, how can schools possibly replicate the services of diverse therapists—occupational, learning, behavioral, speech, physical and vision—as well as adaptive specialists and aides? It is not feasible.

 

Learning Essentials is here to help.

With our team of certified, advanced-degreed tutors, Learning Essentials is the premier special education tutoring company in the DC Metro area. We “get” these students and their diverse needs. We have the education and experience to assist students with learning disabilities and differences during this massive transition. Our learning strategies and multi-sensory methods are proven, and our team is equipped to offer fully online support for all learners.

 

As administrators, teachers, and parents struggle to create and implement in-home supports for special needs students, Learning Essentials is ready to step in with solutions. We can suggest modifications to learning content, accommodations for optimal learning environments, and techniques that can guide parents and support students in accessing the curriculum in these unprecedented circumstances.

 

Ready for help? Contact Learning Essentials today for a free consultation. Let us set the best course to keep special needs students on the path to learning.

Providing Realistic Reassurance

Whether you are an educator, a parent, or a family member, you are likely fielding a lot of questions regarding the “what ifs” of the current state of things. The more complicated side of these questions is that we ourselves don’t have many answers to these questions—in fact, we’ve got questions of our own! One thing we can do for children and teens is to talk through their concerns as a family. The conversation may not always result in complete understanding or resolute answers. However, the importance is to ease fears and mediate concerns.

 

Missing milestones 

A major concern for today’s high school students is the fact that this unplanned, mid-school-year hiatus jeopardizes way more than just instruction and learning. Testing centers have been shut down; colleges and universities have sent students home, closed campuses, and moved to online learning for the second semester. For students who have been planning to tour campuses, take entrance exams, and narrow their final college search this spring, the current state of things makes those plans nearly impossible. Furthermore, the typical high school rites of passage that students look forward to throughout their entire education, such as spring break trips, prom, graduation and graduation parties, are more of an impossibility now because of COVID-19. How can parents begin to soften this blow?

  • Put things into perspective for your teens by showing them the realities that other people are living. If kids are preoccupied with the notion that they’re missing out on major high school events, we need to give them a reality check. By reading up on the death tolls, financial struggles, and hunger and homelessness that this pandemic is causing around the world, our teenagers are able to see that, despite these cancelled events, their lives are extremely blessed. Discuss the importance of gratitude and how, while it’s okay to be disappointed about missing these milestones, it should not become all consuming considering how much we have to be thankful for right now. Furthermore, remind teens that sulking about does nothing to change the outcome—happiness is a mindset.
  • Talk about how, even though the events themselves may be up in the air, the meaning behind these special rites of passage can never be lost. For instance, the importance of graduation is what it represents, not the ceremony itself. As a family, focus on the achievements and how, regardless of formal celebrations, the accomplishments still remain.
  • When high school students get upset over these missed opportunities, parents can also provide comfort by stating the obvious—everyone is going through these same losses, too. Your teen needs to remember that she isn’t the only one missing out on prom or not getting her driver’s license right away. While most adolescents find it difficult to see beyond themselves, they can find comfort in the fact that these circumstances are not unique to them—thousands of other high schoolers are experiencing these same feelings of disappointment.
  • When in doubt, highlight the great things that your teen has ahead of him. Yes, this is a largely confusing and disappointing time. However, this is going to pass. We can help ourselves get through these trying times by remaining positive and always looking for the silver lining.

Stop the Spread…of Rumors: Tips for Parents

For parents, there are few things more heartbreaking than seeing your child in pain—especially when the infliction is emotional, not physical. There are no ice packs, bandages, or pain relievers that can alleviate emotional pain and distress, which means that many parents are left feeling helpless when their child comes home from school having been the subject of the rumor mill.

 

This aggravating adolescent tendency is practically a rite of passage. We’ve all been the target, or heard about, or maybe even helped to spread a rumor about one of our peers at some point or another. Truthfully, some people never fully grow out of the “lure of grapevine,” if you will. Regardless of your own experiences and memories, your child’s adverse experiences involving hurtful rumors will be an entirely new beast. Therefore, we’ve compiled some strategies for parents to help if and when the unfortunate situation arises.

 

  • Remind your teen that those closest to her will not be swayed or drawn into the hurtful gossip. Tell her that anyone who pays mind to or contributes to the rumors being spread either doesn’t know her or doesn’t truly care about her. Put these notions into perspective by providing your own example of a time when someone mischaracterized you. Explain that another person’s negative opinion, especially a person that doesn’t know you well, should be considered irrelevant. Add to this by explaining that your dignity and  self-worth cannot be diminished by another person.
  • Simply denying a rumor does nothing to squander it—in fact, denying may only make the situation worse. Tell your teen not to waste her energy on trying to convince her peers of what is true and what isn’t. Reaffirm the fact that the people who really know her won’t give any attention to ridiculous rumors. In addition, explain that her protestations only add fuel to the fire. Instead of fighting the rumors, do not give them any attention at all. Easier said than done, but ignoring gossip is the best way to remove yourself from these hostile situations.
  • If social media becomes more of a platform for antisocial interactions, talk to teens about restricting their privacy settings to avoid derogatory comments and/or any issues involved with sharing or reposting photos. Parents need to remind teens that, for all of the positive connectivity that social media can bring, the negative aspects can certainly overshadow the benefits. If your teen comes across inappropriate comments, messages, or responses, remind him to ignore, block, or report the information. Do not interact with or respond to the person, regardless of the circumstances. Again, the point is to remove yourself from the drama, not to fuel or fight the fire.
  • Parents can also use their own experiences with rumors and gossip to help teens find the silver lining in these difficult peer situations. Explain to your child that, while this moment may be particularly difficult, the trials and tribulations are going to strengthen them for similar circumstances in the future. During these difficult times when our character is brought into question, we truly begin to reconcile our own self-perceptions, apart from others’ opinions. The gossip may be difficult to overcome in the moment, but it will eventually strengthen your exterior.
  • When rumors and gossip cross the line and become harassment or defamation, parents need to step in and involve the appropriate parties at the school. Keep a record of texts, posts, emails, comments, etc., to document the extent of the bullying. Persistent, harmful rumors can certainly fall under the bullying/harassment category, meaning that disciplinary actions can be taken against students that are spreading or perpetuating these harmful rumors. Make sure that administrators, guidance counselors, and any other adult who is close to your child is involved in the conversation. When it comes to safety and mental health, it’s all hands on deck.
  • Finally, if you notice major changes in mood or behavior, especially regarding energy levels, motivation, social interactions, academic performance, eating/sleeping patterns, etc., take swift action. Gossip and harmful rumors, while mostly fleeting, can occasionally cause issues with self-esteem, depression, and even suicidal thoughts or actions. Because of this level of potential severity, it is crucial that parents monitor their teen’s demeanor and talk frequently about issues among peers.

Remote Learning: Making Use of Time at Home During School Closures, Part II

As discussed in part one, the COVID-19 pandemic is like nothing today’s younger generation has ever experienced. Mass school closures may initially seem like a cause for celebration for many students. Yet the fact is that this pandemic, now deemed a national emergency, will have lasting effects. This is especially true for school-aged children and teens, who will now be missing out on hours upon hours of instruction and learning. In addition to setting up routines at home to maintain some semblance of normalcy, families will want to get creative when it comes to in-home learning as well.

 

Foreign language study

Just because schools are closed, that doesn’t mean that students’ language acquisition should hault indefinitely. Apps like Duolingo allow students to brush up on their foreign language skills, or begin to learn a new language altogether. The app is free and easy to use due to intuitive, game-like format.

Parents can also help bolster foreign language acquisition by selecting age-appropriate foreign films or movies with subtitles for the family to watch together.

Want to ditch the screens? Plan a bilingual scavenger hunt around the house using post-it notes. Label household items incorrectly and challenge your kids to correctly place the post-its using their language skills. For instance, if el baño is posted on the basement door, kids would need to move it to the bathroom door before moving onto the next sticky note.

 

Social studies 

For obvious reasons, many spring field trips have had to be cancelled, leaving students disappointed. One possible solution to these cancellations is to try virtual tours of the museums, galleries, landmarks, etc. Of course, the experience will not be entirely the same, but the sense of learning through exploration is still there. In addition, many locations utilize interactive platforms for students to truly immerse themselves in the information. Engaging options include Guggenheim Museum, The MoMA, The Louvre, Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History, The NASA Space Center in Houston, a moon tour via Google Earth, and any number of zoo cams around the world.

 

Now is also a great time for indulging in some documentaries for additional explorative learning. Beyond the content itself, which will undoubtedly provide information, older children and teens can identify and discuss persuasive techniques and other specific documentary film tactics. It may be beneficial to discuss the subjectivity that often emerges within the genre and how that impacts us, the viewers.

 

Science at home

Simple science experiments help to pass the time while introducing kids to the many engaging aspects of science.

  • Add heavy cream to a jar, tightly seal, and shake vigorously (for a span of 10-30 minutes) until butter begins to form. Kids will be amazed to watch as the cream solidifies. They can also flavor their homemade butter with sea salt or a drizzle of honey!
  • Create your own invisible ink using lemon juice and a q-tip. Kids will be amazed to see their secret messages when they hold a paper up to a lightbulb or other heat source.
  • Take a blind taste test, but with a tricky twist! Ask your child to hold his or her nose while tasting the everyday items, such as peanut butter, honey, salsa, chocolate chips, yogurt, etc. They will be amazed at how difficult it is to identify some of their favorite foods when their sense of smell is impaired!

Remote Learning: Making Use of Time at Home During School Closures, Part I

State-wide school closures for an extended amount of time due to a worldwide pandemic is truly unprecedented. Families, school systems, and entire communities are now in a position like we have never known before. Aside from the logistics involving everything from last-minute childcare to methods for providing meals to local FARMS (free and reduced-price meals system) populations, many folks are left wondering about the academic ramifications of these indefinite school closures. Similar to “summer slide,” when students are known to experience academic regression while out of school for the summer months, these sudden weeks without instruction could undoubtedly pose academic issues for students. Some districts are utilizing online platforms to deliver content digitally to students at home, while others are rushing to provide supplemental course packets that students can complete at their own pace during the extended closure. Whatever the case, families will want to ensure that certain steps are taken so that learning continues, even when school is not in session.

Set up a routine

Many students (and teachers) view this sudden shutdown as an excuse to go into vacation mode. Tempting as that is, stopping everything to “hibernate” at home is ill-advised, even during this time when we have been instructed to practice “social distancing.” Being stuck at home should not necessarily mean that children and teens grow accustomed to day-long Netflix binging in pajamas on the couch. Parents should set the expectation early on that some of this time out of school is still going to be used for learning. Some suggestions include the following:

 

  • Maintain the expectation that certain times of the day should be “screen-free,” meaning no smartphones, video games, television, iPads, or computer use.
  • As an alternative to technology, encourage kids to try a different hobby, like reading, journaling, coloring, yoga, knitting, baking, gardening, etc. Teen and adult coloring books, Legos, paint-by-number and toy model kits are all solid options for quiet, screen-free entertainment. In addition to revving one’s creativity, these activities help to develop fine motor skills, dexterity, patience, focus, and attention to detail.
  • Suggest that children help out with meal time and/or the cleanup after dinner. Seeing as everyone’s schedule has likely opened up, with regard to school, sports, and extracurricular activities, now is a great time to set up a routine for family meal times.
  • Imbed some physical activity into everyone’s daily routines as well. Obviously, the gym and fitness classes are ill-advised due to suggestions to practice “social distancing.” However, families can take evening strolls around the neighborhood, walk the dog each morning, jump on the trampoline, mow the lawn, etc.
  • To stave off the eventual boredom, families will want to think about organizing evening routines and activities as well. Maybe try Monday movie nights, take-out Tuesday, speed walking Wednesday, etc. The key is to have something to look forward to each day, especially since many fun events for kids, like field trips, weekend excursions, birthday gatherings, sleepovers, and team sports have been cancelled.

Word Choice and Why it Matters, Part II

As mentioned in part one, word choice plays a crucial role in a student’s ability to express himself clearly and specifically. It goes without saying that more is more when it comes to vocabulary. Aside from bringing back the word wall, teachers and parents can add subtle practices to everyday routines to help children and teens to develop their vocabulary skills and advance their word choice skills.

 

How was your day?

I have very vivid recollections of my parents asking me this routine question when they got home from work every day. My response was always equally bland: “good.” Instead of reciting this practically robotic exchange, parents can help children build their vocabulary by raising their expectations—meaning that we should no longer accept “good” as good enough.

 

Prompt your child to be more specific in her response by asking follow up questions. Discuss how “good” can mean any number of things—what, specifically, was good about the day? Did you read something inspiring? Did you have a pleasurable time during recess? Was your lunch scrumptious, or simply palatable? Was there anything particularly intriguing about your science lab? Each of these terms adds a level of specificity to your child’s claim, but you will likely need to provide examples of how to use these words in advance. Increasing the frequency in which you use these elevated vocabulary terms will greatly benefit your child’s understanding simply by exposure.

 

Similarly, if you find that your child’s day was “not good,” consider the following questions:

  • What aggravated you about school today?
  • Were you perturbed at anything in particular?
  • How can I help elevate your mood?
  • Ideally, what would you have changed about your day?

 

Again, be sure to provide context when using these terms so that your child begins to understand how they are being used and in which scenarios they are most applicable. The more you can relate the new words to familiar words, the easier it will be for the new vocabulary to move into your child’s lexicon.

 

Prefix/Suffix study

Studying Latin roots is not exactly standard in the elementary classrooms; however, prefixes and suffixes, when taught in connection with everyday language, can help with students’ abilities to decipher unfamiliar terms more seamlessly. For example, begin with something familiar, like the word subway.  A subway is a form of underground transportation—sub meaning under. If students know that consciousness involves one’s awareness, subconscious can be quickly understood to mean under or beneath one’s consciousness. If something is described as sub-par, par meaning the standard or average, students will be able to explain sub-par to mean below standard or below average. Similarly, subtext, quite literally and figuratively can mean below or beneath the text. Provide students with an example to help solidify their understanding. For example, “You DON’T need to study to get into that school.” The subtext, or unspoken message of that statement, is that that particular school is easy, low-risk, and not academically competitive. Again, for students to truly absorb the new vocabulary, they need repeated exposure, connections to existing or familiar terms, and clear context to ground their understanding.

Combating School Refusal: Part II

In Part I, we discussed that school refusal involves more than stubborn non-compliance and cutting school to spend time with friends. School refusal stems from psychological stressors that, for whatever reason, are triggered by the school environment. While school refusal can be a result of many different factors from child to child, there are universally effective strategies that families can utilize.

Managing School Refusal

  • Ask your child why he or she is anxious about going to school. This conversation must come from a calm and understanding place—you cannot show frustration, anger, disappointment, or judgment when seeking to understand the underlying issues. Let children know that you support them by legitimizing their concerns, but that you need to know where their nerves are coming from in order to help. Ask whether this began with an isolated incident with a teacher or peer, or if the triggers are truly unknown.
  • Talk to the school about what is going on. School refusal becomes a bigger issue when teachers are left in the dark. When the school is aware of the underlying anxieties that a student might be dealing with, they will take extra precautions to make sure the student is handled with “kid gloves” during his or her time at school. The school can also help to manage the student’s workload if he or she is missing major assignments due to stress and anxiety about coming to school. On occasion, the school might recommend a half-day or partial schedule so that the student is receiving important instruction in small doses. The school can also work to arrange supports for parents who may be looking into an IEP or 504 plan to ensure accommodations are provided.
  • Plan for small successes and occasional setbacks when your child makes it to school. The anxieties will never dissipate overnight, so it is normal for a child to try to attend school, but then become overwhelmed and ask to go home. This is okay. As a parent, you want to make sure you’re acknowledging your child’s effort and bravery for attempting something that you know is difficult and scary. The process of re-entering school on a regular schedule isn’t going to be swift. Therefore, your best move is to celebrate the small steps and gently encourage them to move forward with their progress.
  • Consider hiring a tutor to help manage the workload that is accumulating due to your child’s frequent absences. The tutor can also, with your permission, act as a liaison between the school and home to ensure that academic goals are being met. The mounting workload can make students even more anxious because they know that, when they return to school, they’ll be confronted with a pile of work. This can make for a never-ending issue of avoiding school because of the stress of all the work from missing school in the first place. The tutor can work with your child in the comfort of your home and help to manage the assignments and tasks, while also providing 1:1 instruction for skills that are necessary for meeting grade-level objectives.