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Writing a Paragraph: Elementary-age

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Writing is arguably one of the most beneficial skills taught in the academic realm. Since strong writing abilities are valuable in every content area and career down the road, mastery of this skill is essential. As with most undertakings, practice is key to developing a student’s writing—the more a child writes, the better that child will progress as he advances through his education.
For elementary-aged students, writing a cohesive, organized paragraph is a relatively new concept, one that can be taxing and frustrating in the beginning. Style, conventions, and technique will evolve with time, but structure and organization should be a writing objective from the start. When it comes to helping young writers compose a paragraph, structuring an organized paragraph is best explained simply—complex writing will come later.
A helpful strategy to prompt organization is to use a visual tool or graphic representation of how a well-organized paragraph should look. Some educators use the cheeseburger method, in which writers structure their paragraphs like a cheeseburger: the top bun is the introduction, the burger patty is the main idea, the toppings provide added detail to the “meat” of the paragraph, and the bottom bun concludes the paragraph. The cheeseburger method allows young writers to see that every part of the cheeseburger or paragraph is essential. It is also a good way to practice peer editing, as students can examine other paragraphs to ensure that their classmates have included enough toppings (detail), a solid patty (main idea), and an obvious top and bottom bun (introduction and conclusion).
Once writers have mastered the concept of the cheeseburger structure, it is time to instruct them on each individual layer. For example, the top bun, or introduction, needs to be enticing enough to get the reader interested—this is called a “hook” or “attention-grabber.” The meat or main idea of the paragraph needs to stand out. Explain to your writer that you would not want to eat a burger that has a flavorless patty; the burger, or main idea, is the star of the sandwich. Therefore, it often requires the most attention. The purpose of toppings is that they add to the deliciousness of the sandwich—toppings, or details, accompany the flavor of the burger and add crunch, sweetness, tang, or texture to the patty. Finally, students must include a conclusion, which draws the paragraph to an end—this is their bottom bun. Without the bottom bun, the burger seems incomplete or unfinished; the reader is left unsatisfied by the abrupt end to the sandwich and the missing concluding component.

Again, the cheeseburger method is aimed at young writers to help with practicing structure and organization. More developed writing techniques will expand over time with practice and further instruction. For now, parents can help elementary-age children by focusing on the basics when it comes to writing a paragraph. For even more of a visual, parents can search cheeseburger paragraph graphic organizers to print from the computer. These organizers help children visually plan and construct a paragraph, ensuring that each section is represented.  

 

Sleep Awareness

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According to the National Sleep Foundation, school-aged children between the ages of 6 and 13 should be getting a recommended 9-11 hours of sleep. Teens, ages 14-17 years old, should get between 8-10 hours of sleep per night. It is no surprise that, with the non-stop schedules and overuse of technology, kids these days are slacking on their sleep—and they may not even realize the effect that it is having.

With sleep being such a vital aspect of day-to-day health and productivity, it is imperative to ensure that your child has time to power-down and rest. Again, with after-school obligations, hours of schoolwork, and other extra-curricular activities occupying much of the evening hours, getting adequate amounts of sleep during the week is often put on the backburner. But consider this: teenagers that get the recommended amount of sleep during the week report having more focus, better memory and concentration, and greater motivation. So, despite the common belief that we cannot possibly taper down our hectic evening schedules, there are ways to guarantee a more restful night’s sleep for your child.

Bedtime

Start by implementing an earlier bedtime routine. This may be difficult initially, especially if your child has adapted to a “night owl” schedule. However, after the initial adjustment period, everyone’s sleep will be better for it. Begin with baby steps. For instance, depending on your child’s age, you may want to start by moving bedtime up by 20 minutes and continue with gradual adjustments.

Snacks

Along with a sleep-time modification, certain foods and drinks should also be abandoned before bedtime. Obviously, caffeinated or sugary drinks and snacks will do little to coax a child to sleep. But perhaps less obvious are the subtle sleep-disrupting culprits. High-fat, salty, or spicy foods can also make for a restless night’s sleep. Even whole milk before bed is not recommended because of its potential to upset the stomach.  

Screen Time

Screen time is also a major culprit when it comes to disturbing a child’s sleep. Not only can technology such as smartphones, laptops, and TV act as a procrastination tactic, but they also disrupt the circadian rhythm. Specifically, the light from screens sends “wakeful” signals to the brain, keeping children alert. Instead, reduce this type of stimuli by modifying your “lights out” rule—it should be lights out AND “turn off” time. Again, this will not be an easy transition, especially for teenagers. However, the amount of screen time that people experience at night is directly related to quality of sleep. Also, notice how I said people? Try this no-phones policy for the whole family to improve your own sleep, too. The more you lead by example, the more eager your children will be to get on board with the “screens off” rule.

Exercise

Regular exercise is another sure-fire strategy to ensure that your child gets a restful night’s sleep. Burning off the extra energy after school is an excellent way to help children ease into sleep at the end of the day. When energy isn’t expelled, it becomes especially difficult for children to settle in and rest. This energy also makes for a restless night of tossing and turning. Even a walk around the neighborhood after dinner can make all the difference when bedtime arrives.   

Now is the time to assess your family’s sleep habits and make adjustments that will benefit everyone. Time to power down.

Fuel Up for Learning

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We all have heard that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. However, many of us claim that our hectic mornings simply do not allow the time for breakfast. Instead of fueling up for the day, children are rushed out the door, either skimping on or skipping breakfast altogether.

Besides the nutrition factors, breakfast has proven to have a positive effect in the academic realm, as well. Children who eat a nutritious breakfast exhibit behavioral, cognitive, and attentive benefits. Let’s take a look at some revealing facts regarding the positive influence that breakfast can have on children and adolescents.

Diet

Nutritionally speaking, those who consume breakfast on a regular basis are more likely to have a well-balanced diet. It only seems logical that your first meal is your first opportunity to fuel up on nutrients that the body needs to sustain focus all day. Consuming high-fiber and nutrient-rich foods allows children and adolescents to stave off hunger throughout the morning hours. Breakfast also provides a jumpstart for the recommended intake of calcium, iron, and protein.

Cognition

Cognitively speaking, children and adolescents see major benefits from eating breakfast before school. Breakfast has proven to improve concentration, attention, and memory. Studies also indicate that students who come to school hungry are less likely to participate during class. Again, it is reasonable to assume that, when children go to school on an empty stomach, their focus is more geared towards the tummy rumbles and the countdown to lunch. Participation is likely not on students’ minds if they’re experiencing hunger pangs. By fueling up beforehand, hunger is alleviated, thus helping students to focus in the classroom. Studies also show that students who eat breakfast appear more motivated and alert. Those who skip breakfast, on the other hand, often experience lethargy and headaches, as is evidenced by higher instances of absences, tardiness, and trips to the nurse during class.

Behavior

Studies prove that students experience more behavior issues when going to school hungry. It makes sense that a hungry child would be more fidgety, irritable, or obstinate in the classroom. As adults, we certainly understand the connection between hunger and temperament. There is a reason we’ve coined the term “hangry”—the ruthless combination of hunger and anger. When hunger strikes, behavior fluctuates in children and adolescents even more than it does with adults.

With all of these positives, the importance of breakfast seems obvious. If there truly are no extra minutes in the morning, try prepping quick go-to breakfast options the night before. Even a slice of whole wheat toast smeared with peanut or almond butter is better than nothing. Make a few fold-over toasts, zip them into a bag, and be on your way. Small baggies of apple slices paired with granola or yogurt could be just as beneficial. Also, depending on your child’s school policies, you may be able to send a box of breakfast bars or shakes to school for your child to keep in a locker. On days when time is truly limited, these quick, accessible snacks could make all the difference in the school day.

Autism Awareness Month: In the Classroom

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April is Autism Awareness Month. Autism Spectrum Disorder may present itself in many different ways in and out of the classroom. In an effort to raise awareness and support for each and every student, it is important that educators are informed about Autism Spectrum Disorder and learn strategies to help our students feel comfortable and achieve success. With diagnostic data indicating a rising rate of almost 1 in 70 births, it is likely that this information will prove to be helpful in the classroom.

Because treating and managing a child with an autism diagnosis is often stressful and nerve-wracking for parents, it is common for parents to be more involved and hands-on in many aspects of the child’s education. Especially when transitioning into a new class or school, parents, too, will likely need some extra TLC and reassurance to ease the stress of acclimating their child into a new environment.

Plan to maintain consistent and positive communication with parents of your students with special needs. Be sure to ask parents about successful strategies that they implement at home. As much as possible, reinforce these practices in your classroom. The more consistency that your students experience, the better. Remember that, as always, parents are your biggest assets when finding ways to best serve your students.

Maintaining a stress-free environment is always the goal. However, this is especially important when considering the needs of a student with an autism diagnosis. Stress, loud noises, commotion, or unexpected changes in the routine can totally throw students for a loop. Students on the spectrum are usually most comfortable when routines are maintained and expectations are met. If you are planning a collaborative group activity, a boisterous lesson, or anything that strays drastically from the norm, consider how your student may react. Being proactive as opposed to reactive can mean the difference between a good day and a bad day for your student.

Plan assignments and activities that generate positive self-esteem and celebrate every student’s unique talents. Too often, when we hear of a diagnosis or condition, our minds jump straight to the hurdles—“such and such is more difficult for so-and-so.” Instead, consider how to highlight your student’s unique strengths and hidden talents. Student choice is the best practice as is, but be sure to keep an open mind and truly tap into the interests of your students with special needs.

Providing encouragement while maintaining your perspective is not always a simple task when dealing with a student’s strengths and weaknesses. What we consider to be supporting, praising, or reassuring may actually come across quite differently, depending on a student’s social perceptions. Some students with ASD are not comfortable with any sort of recognition or attention—giving this type of attention, no matter how positive, may cause unnecessary distress. It is also possible that constructive criticism or suggestions could be taken more negatively than intended. Thus, we must be cognizant of student sensitivities and preferences when providing praise or suggestions for improvement.  

Homework Time Made Easier

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Homework is simply a fact of life for today’s students. As early as kindergarten, children are bringing homework home from school. While homework has its many benefits, the majority of students would rather forget about the additional practices, projects, and papers. With such an aversion, homework time at home can be a real battle. Yet, it does not have to be. There are many tried-and-true strategies when it comes to alleviating the stress of homework.

Here are some of our favorites.

First and foremost, a key to easing homework stress is to make sure that the homework actually makes it home. Depending on your child’s age, it may be a struggle to simply keep track of the many worksheets that need to travel to and from school. Keeping your child’s work organized can make all the difference when sitting down to work. Try using a homework folder designated for nightly assignments. Use color-coded tabs or sticky notes to manage daily assignments and due dates. Staying organized is a significant start to managing the homework routine.

Set a Schedule

Set expectations by creating a homework schedule. Between the many afterschool activities and busy schedules that each family undoubtedly juggles, homework may become an afterthought. Make sure that your child knows when and where he or she should be completing homework each night. Set limits on the use of technology during homework time. Cell phones, television, and other distractions can make homework completion impossible, so it is best that these things remain off limits until homework is completed.

Break It Down

When homework has mounted to a seemingly unmanageable level, break the assignments down to avoid a mental meltdown. Especially during the middle and high school years, the amount of homework assignments can increase greatly. Staring down a mountain of papers can stress out both you and your child. If your child is unable to chunk the assignments into manageable pieces, help them out by creating an “order of importance” list. Arrange the work into a schedule based on difficulty and due date. This way, you and your child can prioritize the homework and alleviate any stress from the many assignments.

Promote Practice, Not Perfection

When it comes to difficult assignments, emphasize the importance of effort and completion, not necessarily perfection or 100% correctness. When homework becomes a frustrating tear-session for your child, explain that homework is meant to be practice. Too often, students stress over the need to answer questions and submit flawless assignments. Yes, that is the eventual goal, but homework is meant to provide practice—not display perfection. In fact, most homework assignments are intended to show the teacher whether or not students understood the content. Teachers also use homework assignments as a way to gauge the pacing of lessons or content. So, when the tears start welling, remind your child that homework is for practice.

Building Up Self-Esteem in the Classroom

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i-741519_1280Social-emotional development is a key aspect of growth for children, especially during the teenage years. Questions, conflicts, and angst revolving around one’s identity are indicative of this tempestuous stage in life. Many adolescents, if not all, struggle with building self-esteem. As educators, we have the opportunity to not only teach, but to lead by example.

I, like many adults, can personally relate to my sporadically insecure and apprehensive middle schoolers. The braces, blemishes, and all of those other lovely aspects of my own adolescent years are fresh in my mind when I stand in front of my classes—their hesitant expressions are another reminder of how hard it is to be a teenager. However, two things that can lessen the blow of adolescence are a positive outlook and a resilient self-esteem.

Methods to address the insecurities change from day to day, and vary depending on the student. Obviously, what makes one student feel comfortable and confident may not be the key for another. Even so, there are ways to make a teacher’s classroom, instruction, and demeanor more conducive to building students’ self-esteem.

Be open about your own flaws or weaknesses

For the most part, it is common for students to expect perfection and level-headedness from their teachers to a certain degree. This is evident by the fact that they are shocked and humored when we miscalculate, misspell, or misconstrue something. They are even more shocked to see us scrambling through the mall in sweats and a baseball hat on a Saturday. While mildly embarrassing to us, these somewhat amusing instances are truly beneficial to building our students’ self-esteem.

Capitalize on these opportunities by shattering the belief that perfection is the key to high self-esteem. Yes, teachers are tasked with teaching our subjects, but we are not the “almighty keepers of the knowledge.” We are human beings that have flaws and make mistakes. Embrace these blunders in the classroom—they show our students that, just like teenagers, we adults make mistakes, too. This realization that everyone makes mistakes helps students accept their own missteps and build self-esteem.

Show your true colors

Learning occurs when students take risks in the classroom. Risk-taking is also a sign of confidence and self-esteem. If we teachers are not presenting our true selves, how can we expect our students to feel comfortable enough to show their own true colors? In order to foster these themes of confidence, honesty, and authenticity in the classroom, we must truly practice what we preach.

Beware, though, that adolescents have the uncanny ability to detect phoniness. They are observant, intuitive, and critical. Therefore, it is not the easiest task for teachers to wear all of the hats and still remain authentic in the classroom. All at once, we must maintain professionalism, provide engagement, and remain enthusiastic about the lesson, while also cracking down on behaviors and managing 30+ teenagers in a room. This can be quite a tall order; however, exhibiting your own confidence in the classroom is key to encouraging your students’ self-esteem. Just as parents should model good self-esteem at home, teachers should lead by example, as well.

Explain that “this too shall pass”

Another honest conversation that teachers can have with students in order to foster self-esteem involves discussions of the future. It is easy for anyone to get caught up or discouraged by difficulties happening in the here and now. This is especially true for teenagers. Teens are developmentally prone to “sweat the small stuff.” As a teen, I remember overreacting, dramatizing, and fixating on what turned out to be tiny non-problems. Of course, hindsight is 20/20, but genuine discussions about how to look past our problems and put things into perspective will nurture a positive outlook.

As teachers, we know that personal connections can make all the difference with our students. Sharing anecdotes about my own struggles and slip-ups growing up allows me to relate to my students and relay strategies that worked versus those that didn’t quite pan out. Showing your students that you can relate to their insecurities is beneficial; showing students that you’ve shed your insecurities and built-up your self-esteem over time can be even more beneficial.

At the start of this school year, I hung two pictures outside of my classroom—my school photo from 6th grade and another from 8th grade. I don’t have to tell you that these photos are beyond embarrassing. My students know all too well that, since hormones run high and self-esteem runs low, these teenage years present plenty of challenges. By sharing your own weaknesses, exhibiting authenticity, and discussing your own fluctuations of self-esteem, teachers have the ability to lead by example and foster positive self-images in the classroom.

Teacher’s Learning Secrets to Use at Home

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censorship picGetting 30+ children in a room, and keeping them quiet, engaged, and focused for any length of time is no easy task. As educators, we must show prowess in pedagogy and behavior management at any given moment. We know what it takes to manage, encourage, educate, and inspire children—after all, it is our job. However, it is not our job, alone. As parents, you help to shape your child’s educational experience and expectations. It’s a team effort, which is why I want to share some tried and true learning and behavior management strategies that can boost comprehension and cooperation at home.

“You don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to do.”

This statement will literally stun your child at first—as it should. Children are used to following rules and listening to directions. So, if you’re ever in the “But I don’t want to” battle over homework or studying, start with this statement: You do not have to do anything, but you must be ready to accept the consequences. When you explain to children that they have some autonomy in their own decision-making, they begin to comprehend independence and consequences more clearly.

When students ask me if they have to do something, I always respond like this: There is nothing in life that we have to do, necessarily. We do not have to show up to work every day. We do not have to brush our teeth. We do not have to tell the truth. But in every decision that we make, we must be prepared to face the consequences. So, the next time your child asks if she has to read for her book report, give her the honest truth—she does not have to read the book, but she will have to accept the consequences of neglecting the reading, i.e., failure, stress, lower GPA, etc. Your child will make the right decision when faced with the options and consequences.

Push reading of any sort or genre

I often get questions like, “What should my child be reading in her spare time?” or “How can I get him interested in a different genre?” Too often, parents want to steer a child’s reading interests, or discourage certain juvenile or fictional selections. The key to reading for pleasure is that it is pleasurable. Encourage more reading at home by allowing your child to select from any genre. When children have a genuine interest in a book, they’re more likely to retain the information. The same thing is true with engagement in the classroom. This is why teachers are constantly tasked with making lessons relevant to our students’ real lives. That said, encourage reading for pleasure by leaving the selection up to your child. After all, when kids are picking up a book instead of a remote control or smartphone, I consider that a win.

Master the follow-up question

The follow-up question is a great technique to prompt your child to expound upon a statement or idea. You can use a follow-up question for conversations beyond homework, as well. For instance, the ever-so-popular “How was your day?” question often elicits an unenthused response. Instead of settling with a blasé reply, follow-up with another question. Ask your child what exactly was “fine” about today? Prompt him to define the word “fine.” Ask how the day could have gone differently or inquire about what your child hoped would have happened today.

Of course, the follow-up question applies to academics, as well. Ask your child how he or she would describe the main character of an assigned novel. Then, follow-up with the “why” question. What happened in the story to bring him to this conclusion? Does he think that his opinion of this character will change as the story continues? These questions urge your child to elaborate and explain in detail. This practice, which teachers use frequently, demonstrates the importance of being able to not only answer appropriately, but to explain how one came to that conclusion.

These teacher’s “secrets” can be just as effective at home as at school. And when employed by both parents and teachers, these learning strategies encourage and enhance student autonomy and achievement.

Parent Involvement: How Much is Too Much?

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Involved parents are undoubtedly one of the main contributors to a student’s academic success. As much as students may not acknowledge it, you parents are very significant to your child’s education. We’ve seen the data–statistics, charts, and graphs about how absent or uninvolved parents result in academically low-achieving children. Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule–students with parents that are disinterested in their schoolwork can still manage to succeed by making academics a priority. Even so, the majority of teachers would attribute student success to a few key things. Parent involvement is one of those major things.

 

At times, however, the pendulum may swing too far. Overbearing parents that micromanage, handhold, and make excuses on behalf of the child can be as detrimental as the parents who are absent all together. This can be quite the fine line, especially for the major academic transition years when students are entering middle school or high school. Moreover, this is a difficult conversation for teachers and parents to have–no parent wants to be told to “back off.” And trust me, no teacher wants to be that messenger either! Below are a few tips on how to loosen the reins while still maintaining involvement in your child’s education.

 

Have a “my job/your job” conversation

 

One way to lay out the ground rules and expectations of your involvement during the school year is to simply discuss it at the start of the academic year. Talk with your child about when and why you will get involved with your child’s teachers. Under what circumstances should your child take the lead in handling a situation? When does it become necessary for parents to step in?

 

For example, your teenage child should not rely on you to email her teacher about an extension on a project–that is the student’s job. Furthermore, while teachers appreciate parental involvement, it is often a welcomed sign of maturity and autonomy when students take initiative to handle a situation with the teacher personally, as opposed to calling on mom or dad. Simply discussing what is and is not your job as the parent sends the message that your child should be in control of his or her academics.

 

Check-in on vs. Check-up on

 

Checking-in with your child is less invasive than checking-up on your child. You absolutely can and should contact your child’s teacher(s) about grades and behavior whenever necessary–the key word here being necessary. Checking-in implies that you are having a conversation with your child about how he or she can improve. Checking-up on your child implies that the conversation is taking place primarily between parent and teacher–not involving the child.

 

There are times when the parent and teacher should discuss matters in the absence of the student. But approaching your child first will shed more light on the situation before speaking to the teacher. Again, this is all about responsibility and independence. Parents and teachers can only take a child so far–at some point, it becomes the child’s responsibility.

 

Praise the initiative

 

Loosening the grip is difficult for both parent and child. Up until this point, the parent has been the caretaker, advocate, cheerleader, homework checker, and teacher-whisperer. As your child is gaining more independence with age, is becomes your job to encourage their self-sufficiency.

 

Talk to your child about when, why, and how to approach teachers and coaches for extra help. Explain the importance of asking questions in class, seeking help, and emailing teachers for clarity. This can be scary, especially for those “green” middle school years. In elementary school, students had a comfort level with the one teacher that instructs all content areas. Now, they have to learn a whole new set of faces, personalities, and procedures for the many classes. This can be downright intimidating, but remind your child of this: teachers are just people who want to see them succeed.

 

Encourage your child to build a relationship with teachers so that they’ll feel more comfortable seeking help when necessary. Acknowledge a job well-done when your child meets with or emails a teacher herself. Discuss the positive feeling that comes when your child shows responsibility and independence.

 

Too much of a good thing

 

Your child will always be your baby–there is no denying that. However, as difficult as it may be, parents must learn to pass responsibility on to the student at some point. Children who have been micromanaged and hand-held throughout their academic years will suffer later on. These students likely expect things to come easily to them because “mom and dad always took care of it.” These students may also lack social tact because they never had to speak for themselves. This constant academic “spoon feeding” will result in a student that is dependent on someone else to clean up messes and solve problems.

The time will come when mom and dad will (hopefully) not be able to contact the college professors about how their child can improve a grade. There are no parent-professor conferences to discuss extra-credit opportunities. Encouraging academic autonomy now will serve your child well through all levels of education–and beyond.

Self-Esteem: Building a Strong Foundation

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qualities-795867_1920February is National Boost Your Self-Esteem Month. Boosting one’s self-esteem is something that everyone has surely dealt with at some point. Even adults struggle with issues of self-esteem and self-worth from time to time. For teens, self-esteem, or the lack thereof, can greatly affect social and emotional development.

Merriam-Webster defines self-esteem as, “a feeling of having respect for yourself and your abilities; a confidence and satisfaction in oneself.” I consider self-esteem to be closely related to comfort level—how comfortable am I with my person as a whole? The tricky thing about self-esteem is that it can take decades to develop a strong sense of self-worth. Even then, once achieved, the comfort level is not concrete or guaranteed to last. Perhaps the most interesting thing about self-esteem is its plasticity or fluidity. Similarly to happiness, self-esteem can and will fluctuate throughout one’s life. You can be a happy person, and still experience low moments in the same manner that you can be a confident person, but still have periods of insecurity or low self-esteem.

This fluidity is especially important when discussing self-esteem with adolescents. The important thing to teach teens about self-image and confidence is that it can and will develop as we age. Furthermore, there are strategies that we can personally employ to build self-esteem.

Exercise positive self-talk: At any point throughout the day, teens are conversing with themselves using “self-talk.” This internal dialogue that we all employ from time to time has the ability to sway our moods and affect our self-perception. Almost like a chain reaction, what we think influences how we feel, which then influences how we behave. A teen that engages in negative self-talk is setting a self-fulfilling prophecy into motion. When people constantly put themselves down about their appearance or abilities, they orchestrate their own obstacles. Instead, encourage your child to engage in self-praise. Model that behavior by engaging in your own positive self-talk. Ask your child what he believes is his best personal trait. Ask him if he has any hidden talents or unique skills. Simply discussing the positives can alter your teen’s self-perception.

Discuss reasonable expectations: Self-esteem is more often compromised when we experience some sort of failure or rejection. It is important to talk through these disappointing moments with teens. Let your child know that failure is an important part of learning and growing that everyone experiences. Think of these moments as setbacks, an opportunity to simply begin again with more knowledge this time around. Also discuss the idea that perfection does not exist—there is no perfect athlete, artist, or musician. The perfect face and body are fantasies, as well. The idea is not to encourage your teen to aim low, but instead to prepare her to expect challenges in life. The more prepared your teen is to face challenges, the less she will internalize a set-back as a personal failure.

Defuse negative energy from others: Self-esteem can be greatly influenced by peers and others’ perceptions. This is especially true for adolescents, when fitting in and being socially accepted becomes more of a priority. No matter how much we want to deny or ignore it, other people’s words can greatly affect us. During adolescent years, when teens are most vulnerable and sensitive to peer pressure, teasing and other unkind gestures can compound the negative “self-talk.” When we hear others saying negative things about us, true or not, we may begin to question ourselves. Am I stupid like they say? Am I ugly like they claim? How can I be better so that others will like me? These types of questions arise when we internalize the negativity that others inflict on us. While we can’t control what other people say, we can control how we react to them. Teach your teen to ignore the negativity and focus more on his own feelings. Encourage teens to focus on the opinion that matters most—their own.

A fascinating aspect of self-esteem is the fact that we have some authority over it. In the same way that we work out to build and maintain muscle mass, we can shape our self-esteem. Yes, it takes time. It can be a lifelong process, but everything worth having requires time and effort. Talk to your teen about self-perception and self-esteem. The earlier that a child begins to feel confident in himself, and learns to maintain and build that confidence, the better.

Parents Play an Important Role in the Anti-Bullying Movement

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No Name-Calling Week is a holiday that recognizes the importance of acceptance while taking anti-bullying measures in schools and having honest discussions about the severity of bullying.

As an educator, I am all too aware of the impact that name-calling and other bullying can have on an adolescent. However, as we all know, teens are not exactly forthcoming about their emotions. Parents especially may be left in the dark in terms of happenings at school and with peers. Moreover, the accessibility of technology and smartphones has made it even easier for adolescents to bully one another. Snapchat, instagram, vine, and other social media forums are often laden with unkind, sometimes downright harsh, remarks and comments.

Whether you personally experienced bullying as a teen or not, you likely know of someone who has been affected by bullying. It is important that parents understand just how serious this issue can be for a young person. Hormones, emotions, and peer pressures create a breeding ground for insecurity. Bullies often exploit these already-vulnerable teens, making life significantly harder in and out of school. While teens may be intent on guarding their private lives from their parents, it is vital that parents know the signs of a bully and a victim.

Signs that your teen may be a victim of bullying:

  • Unexplainable injuries, or an attempt to hide or make excuses for odd injuries
  • Lost or destroyed clothes, phones, tablets, jewelry, etc.
  • Complaining of frequent headaches or stomach aches; attempting to miss school suddenly
  • Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge eating after school (often a sign that a child is avoiding lunch in the cafeteria)
  • Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares; oversleeping at any opportunity
  • Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, sports, or other extracurriculars
  • Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations; skipping plans or ignoring invitations from peers
  • Feelings of helplessness or decreased self esteem
  • Prolonged depressed mood or talks of suicide

Signs that your teen may be bullying others:

  • Frequently in trouble for fighting or verbally attacking others
  • Sudden change of peer group
  • Noticeable increase in aggressive behavior
  • Behavioral and/or academic trouble at school
  • Impulsive, irresponsible, or reckless behavior
  • Overly concerned with popularity and new peer groups

Of course, you know your child better than anyone–and you know their level of openness with you. It is okay to have open and honest conversations about school that focus on social topics, as opposed to simply asking only about academics. While autonomy is a major part of teen development, there are plenty of occasions when parents can and should get involved. Cases of bullying are certainly one of those instances.

For more information on how parents can discuss issues of bullying and school violence with teens, visit the link below.

http://www.violencepreventionworks.org/public/bullying_tips_for_parents.page