American Heart Month—Teen Relationships Pt. II

In continuing our look at unhealthy teen relationships, we hope to not only educate families on the warning signs, but also equip parents with methods to intervene. It is important to recognize that an unhealthy relationship is built by manipulation, coercion, intimidation, and by chipping away at a person’s self-worth. Because the abuse can have such a stronghold, it is crucial that parents know how to get their children out when problems begin to arise with their child’s romantic partner.

 

If suspicions arise, it is probably a parent’s first instinct to either “forbid” the relationship, or criticize the boyfriend/girlfriend in an effort to get their child to open his/her eyes to the issues. Parents should stifle both of these urges. Forbidding a teen from doing anything, especially seeing a partner, has a tendency to have an adverse effect. Rather than pulling the two apart, the demand might actually drive the two closer together.

 

  1. Instead, encourage time apart or to spend more time with close friends. Help your teen plan an “all girls” or “all boys” excursion, activity, sleepover, or weekend trip. The key is to create subtle distance by reminding children of their other friends and family that may have gotten the boot when the toxic relationship began.
  2. Instead of outright bad-mouthing their partner, focus the conversation around your teen’s feelings. Ask questions like, “I see you’ve been down, anxious, depressed and short-tempered recently, do you know what might be causing this?” Or, “how do you feel when so-and-so yells at you, criticizes you, controls you, calls constantly, etc.?” Your goal is to highlight the concerning behaviors by examining the effects they have on your child, not by outwardly criticizing the partner or abuser. Use your own experiences with controlling or difficult relationships or friendships to create a space for dialogue that is free of judgment. In the simplest, non-threatening way, you want teens to recognize the negative effects that this unhealthy relationship is having on them.
  3. Monitor and limit phone use if necessary, including text messages, voicemails, email, etc. Frame the conversation as though it is in your child’s best interest to give the phone a break during certain times of day. Create family expectations that during and after dinner, phones should be used minimally, and only for important circumstances. However, parents themselves should follow suit as well—it is difficult to ask teenagers to part with their phones if the adults are not willing to follow the same expectations.
  4. Seek help from a third party. An expert with a neutral vantage point, such as a child psychologist or family therapist, may be the key. Oftentimes, teens feel that parental advice is meant to control them or persuade them to do whatever it is that the parent suggests. A neutral third party willing to listen and absorb the whole situation from multiple sides will be better equipped at getting through to your teen. He or she is trained to help mediate family strife. Therapists are also often able to shed light on an issue without casting judgment or blame, making teens more apt to listen.
  5. Expose your teen to new experiences, hobbies, or activities as a means of taking his or her mind off of the significant other. Set up a family movie marathon, visit a local museum or art studio, go indoor rock climbing, plan a spa day, try cooking a new recipe together, or go to the driving range. The list is limitless when it comes to finding new outings for the family. Whatever you decide, make sure that your teen enjoys the activity and that it doesn’t feel forced or contrived. The point is to create space between your teen and his or her significant other, while showing your teen that there are plenty more happy experiences to seek beyond this controlling relationship.

American Heart Month—Teen Relationships, Part I

February is the unofficial “month of love,” thanks primarily to Valentine’s Day. February is also American Heart Month, which is meant to promote heart health and wellness and to provide community resources for preventing heart disease. It also happens to be Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. Since teens are more likely to experience love and dating before being diagnosed with heart disease, we figured we should use this opportunity to discuss healthy relationships—because knowing one’s worth and how to set healthy boundaries is an equally important facet of protecting one’s heart.

 

The National Resource Center on Domestic Violence estimates that, each year, over one million American teens experience physical violence at the hands of a romantic partner. While physical abuse is certainly the most obvious or undeniable form of violence, dating violence includes any form of threats, as well as verbal, emotional, sexual, or digital abuse (threatening texts, posts, phone calls, or blackmail). As if these abuses were not devastating enough, teens who experience dating violence are also far more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, or suffer from depression and thoughts of suicide. With such destructive consequences, it is imperative that parents know the warning signs of a potential relationship issue and how to intervene.

 

Signs of a potentially harmful teen relationship:

  • If, after entering a new relationship, your teenager suddenly pulls away from friend groups and family activities without warning, it may be an early sign of a controlling situation. Abusive partners often easily become jealous, territorial, or vengeful if a boyfriend or girlfriend is giving his or her time to others. The isolation is also another way that an abuser exerts mental control over his or her partner. Isolation and withdrawal from family and friends also allows the abuser to push the boundaries of control or violence—if no one is around to intervene or ask questions, the control can continue or progress.
  • When cellphone and/or social media use changes drastically, parents should start asking questions. Control can, and likely will, extend into digital realms eventually. Perhaps a controlling boyfriend insists that the girlfriend remove photos, posts, chats, and other personal memories from online profiles. Additionally, a cautious girlfriend or boyfriend might exhibit stress or anxiety if she or he is unable to answer a controlling boyfriend or girlfriend’s text or incoming call. If texts and phone calls become excessive, especially if they’ve gone unanswered, this could be a sign that a controlling relationship has begun.
  • Similarly, if a boyfriend or girlfriend takes a partner’s phone or insists on knowing passwords or codes, this could be the start of something dangerous. Again, these types of behaviors are all about control and power. Obsessively checking in, reading messages, intercepting phone calls, browsing history or email—all of these are signs that a teen is attempting to control his or her partner on an invasive level.
  • Excessive apologies could be another sign of an unhealthy relationship brewing. Another major aspect of mental or emotional abuse involves the use of guilt—specifically, tactics to elicit guilt. If you notice that your teen is overly sensitive to questions and criticisms and follows any minor misstep with an apology, this could be a learned behavior from a boyfriend or girlfriend who is trying to make your teen feel bad for insignificant mistakes or shortcomings.
  • Furthermore, if your teen seems to be more critical of himself, it may be because his partner is feeding him that harsh criticism. Negative self-talk often stems from hearing other negative talk or incessant put-downs.
  • A teen in an unhealthy relationship might defend or minimize the situation when questioned. If family or friends question the relationship or criticize the teen’s partner, the first instinct is to excuse or defend the other’s behavior. While family and friends are simply trying to highlight the potential issues, a confrontation or intervention could have the exact opposite effect. Oftentimes, a critical eye from a parent or friend drives the partners together even further, solidifying the relationship on a harmfully dependent level.
  • Threats to end the relationship are another token move for abusers who wish to establish control and codependency. If your teen’s boyfriend or girlfriend constantly threatens to break up with him or her, the angle is probably manipulative. The point again is a power move; the partner is toying with the other’s emotions and using the relationship as a ploy or pawn: “Do what I say or I’ll break up with you” is just another mind game used to exert control.

Creating a Positive Climate for Learning Pt. II

Whether schools are public or private, religious or non denominational, set in rural America or in bustling cities, the push for a more positive learning climate is a common thread throughout. Much like schools have their own ways of encouraging the entire student body, classroom teachers can employ different strategies to build the positivity around learning as well.

 

At the classroom level

  • Teachers can foster positivity before students enter the room with one simple tactic—stand at the door and greet students by name as they arrive. This easy, everyday practice is one that immediately sets the positive tone, not only for the classroom as a whole, but for a student’s motivation and engagement on an individual level. This is also a helpful way for teachers to gauge any academic or social-emotional struggles that a student might be experiencing. A student who slumps, walks slowly, appears emotionless or otherwise dreary might need some extra TLC that day. A student who appears to be agitated or worked up may need a moment to recover from an earlier incident before his or her learning can continue. Whatever the case, the point of greeting individual students as they enter is to demonstrate care for each and every learner. A simple, smiling “hello” lets students know that a teacher is happy to see them, excited to teach them, and open to communicating if a student needs a pep talk.
  • Encouraging growth, not instant perfection, is another way that teachers can positively reach those students who may not always get the honor roll, student of the month, highest GPA, etc. Praising and celebrating achievement in the form of growth allows students to see that, while natural intelligence is great, effort, motivation, perseverance, and grit are worthy attributes as well.
  • To track growth, teachers may want to have students create data folders or portfolios to collect and organize their work and scores. These simple folders help students recognize their own development and growth. They also motivate students to take accountability for and agency over their grades and schoolwork.
  • When students need a little extra encouragement, teachers should consider using real-life examples of successful people who once struggled. These inspirational stories of famous leaders, athletes, performers, scholars, etc., help students recognize that, with diligence and optimism, obstacles can be overcome.
  • Make it a point to recognize positive study skills, attitudes, camaraderie, behavior, and outlooks. When students are recognized for anything, the recognition reinforces that behavior, making it more likely that the student will want to repeat that behavior, practice, task, or skill. Of course, teachers should keep praise and recognition genuine—we don’t want to acknowledge when students are simply following the rules or directions; make sure that the act is praiseworthy.

 

When things are not so positive…

Consider time for a community circle or restorative justice meeting when things go off track. It takes time and effort (not to mention patience!) to establish a positive learning environment, especially where adolescents are involved. Teachers should not become discouraged after a rough day, or week, or even month—these things happen. Instead, educators might find that a restorative justice strategy is just the thing to help reroute the course. If behaviors, motivation, effort, academic integrity, or disrespect are prevalent issues during class, pump the breaks and talk about the issue directly.

    • Clear the class schedule or agenda for the day; a community circle does take up time, but it is time well spent when done properly.
    • Invite the students in as you normally do; however, ask them to sit in a circle with no other materials or distractions in their hands. You may want to have your room set up in advance, or you can ask students to add chairs to the circle as they enter.
    • Take a moment to go over the expectations of the circle: One person speaks at a time, comments are confidential and stay within the circle, participants should speak their truth, and students are allowed to pass the talking piece if they do not want to comment.
    • Review specifically what active and polite listening looks like; when a classmate speaks, students should shift to face the speaker, provide eye contact, listen attentively, and acknowledge a person’s moment to share.
    • Make sure that everyone agrees to the ground rules and that any distractions (pencils, phones, fidgets, candy, earbuds, etc.) are placed out of the circle.
    • Begin with a direct question about the issue you plan to address. An example might be, “When was the last time you felt disrespected?” As the facilitator, you should provide your own response to the question. Speak calmly and deliberately so that emotions are kept at bay, but your sentiments are still made to the group.
    • Pass the talking piece to the left or right and remind students that they do not have to speak or share unless they’d like to.
    • When the talking piece has made it back to you, the facilitator, thank the participants and ask the next question.
    • Alternate the direction in which the talking piece is passed around the circle so that everyone is able to share equally.
    • After the circle, ask students to reflect on what was said and how others felt. Ask students to reflect on their own feelings. Encourage them to think about how they as a class can use this teachable moment to make adjustments and progress forward.

 

The point of the circle is to build community and use communication as a positive tool to do so. As students get used to the process, community circles will become more proactive and meaningful.

Creating a Positive Climate for Learning, Part I

Whether we’re talking public schools, private schools, tutoring sessions, or homework at the kitchen table, a positive mindset goes a long way when it comes to the learning environment. Research shows that when teachers and students feel valued, respected, motivated, and engaged, learning increases exponentially—of course it does! As logical as this push for positivity may seem, it does not simply emerge out of nowhere; it must be cultivated by those who wish to bring it to life. There are small, deliberate steps that schools, parents, teachers, and students can take to foster a positive, successful learning environment.

 

At the school level

Creating a safe, engaging, positive learning space is likely the goal of every school. In order to do this, schools must ensure that the individual mission and vision for the school is clearly defined and communicated. Simply put, the vision encompasses the goals for the school and its “ideal” future; the mission involves the day-to-day steps for how the school plans to make that vision a reality. Instead of passively including the vision on official letterhead or posting it to the school’s web pages, school administrators should make a concerted effort to vocalize the goals for their school.

  • The vision should be visible in classrooms, conference rooms, and common areas, like the library or cafeteria.
  • The vision should be phrased in a student-friendly manner, and in a way in which student needs are clearly put at the forefront.
  • Schools should communicate how this vision will come to life and set up expectations for students and staff that foster such an environment.
  • Recognize students who embody the vision or mission statements with awards, celebrations, certificates, etc. The point is to grow an appreciation for the overall goals of the school and highlight when small gains are made by its members.
  • The vision should account for the community as a whole. Perhaps a middle or high school will partner with the neighborhood elementary school for a “buddy-study” program; or maybe the local businesses or organizations want to offer a career day or “shadowing” opportunity. A nearby retirement community may want to perform with the school’s chorus for an intergenerational choir.
  • On a similar note, schools can foster positivity by giving back to the community. A food drive, coat collection, trash clean-up, or anonymous pay-it-forward initiative in the community can build positivity and teach students what it means to contribute to society. Even small gestures, like thank you cards or planting a tree on campus for Earth Day can spur more positive motivation for learning.
  • Appreciation days for support staff, maintenance personnel, security, and cafeteria workers also help to exhibit a learning environment where everyone is valued. Students benefit from learning in a building where everyone’s efforts and contributions are acknowledged and celebrated. Showing admiration and appreciation to the hardworking people that run the building every day helps improve the school climate on both singular and wholistic levels.

On the topic of recognition, schools can foster positivity and an optimistic climate by celebrating student work and achievements throughout the building. Schools should think about using the daily news show or morning announcements to announce birthdays, students of the month, athletic scores and stats, community service achievements, etc. Ask students to exhibit their art work, photography, essays, or poems in display cases throughout the building—this shows young learners that, more than the grade, it’s the effort and growth that builds the foundation of a strong, successful school.

Blended Learning in the Classroom Pt. II: Considerations

As much as the education world has recently held blended learning (BL) practices in high regard, there are several considerations and key pointers that teachers should be aware of prior to designing units or lessons using BL.

 

  1. Blended learning rotations and activities should likely not be used as an everyday structure. The idea behind the rotations is to allow students to dig into the content, concept, or topic more indepthly, at an individualized level, with personal pacing and options for student choice using technology. As ideal as this all sounds, there are occasions or lessons that would not necessarily work well with small groups or multiple activities going on at once. A good rule of thumb is to try one set of blended learning rotations per unit. This means that, while students are learning about subjectivity and objectivity, like in our last blog post, they will really only complete one full BL lesson during that unit. This amounts to roughly 3-4 days of class throughout a 2-3 week period.

 

  1. Another critical aspect of using blended learning effectively involves ample planning and preparation. In essence, blended learning requires teachers to plan multiple lessons, including the use of various texts, activities, practices, methods, and technologies. When initially planning, it will seem like you are doing three times the work—because you are. The payoff for the advanced planning and organizing is that, after a few times practicing rotations and getting used to the structures and procedures, student groups begin to run like independent, well-oiled machines.

 

  1. Teachers should also be advised that, since students are working at their own pace, many students may find themselves with “down time” from completing the work swiftly. Because of this, it is beneficial to have a list of bonus activities, practices, and teacher-approved websites that students can work on if they finish a rotation early. The key is to make sure that students know where these “bonus” materials are, how to access them, and what to do with them so that there is no need to interrupt while the teacher is meeting and working with the small-group rotation.

 

  1. An additional consideration for planning involves provisioning for the rotations. Yes, this will require more time in advance to gather, sort, organize, and set up the necessary materials for each station/rotation. However, once everything is good to go, teachers will find that students are primarily independent throughout the duration of the non-teacher led stations. It is a good idea to keep writing utensils, extra handouts, sticky notes, highlighters, and any other frequently used materials in plain sight where they are accessible to students. Again, this prevents students from interrupting the teacher-led small-group session.

 

  1. Consider setting general ground rules for blended learning days. Frontloading these procedures and getting students acquainted with the routines and expectations will keep rotations running smoothly.
  • Remind students that you will not sign passes during rotations unless it is a true emergency.
  • Inform students that there should be no talking, except during collaborative activities in stations.
  • Think about setting up a question board or box so that students who are working in the independent rotations can write down a question that they will plan to ask you later.
  • Determine whether you want students to have the option to listen to music with headphones during the independent rotation. If not, make that clear and put headphones away when they are not necessary for the stations.
  • Set visible timers, perhaps on the Promethean board, for days when students will complete multiple rotations and make a plan for what students should do if they are unable to finish in the designated time.
  • Set up a designated submission policy or turn-in bin for completed work so that students can be responsible for getting their completed work in the right place.

Blended Learning in the Classroom Pt. I

Blended learning is a new initiative in MCPS—many schools are devoting hours of professional development training, numerous staff meetings, and other resources to school educators on all things “BL.” In essence, blended learning is an educational approach that blends student choice, self-paced coursework, reteaching opportunities, and small, differentiated instruction with the use of online/digital tools.

 

A blended learning lesson might look something like this:

  • Students enter and complete a whole group warm-up in which they write down the definition of subjectivity and objectivity from the board.
    • The point of the whole-group, traditional start of the lesson is to provide background knowledge or introduce critical elements so that all students begin at the same point, with the same understanding of the content or topic.
    • When implementing blended learning, the whole-group aspect can last longer than a warm-up, but should still leave time for students to complete at least one other rotation.
    • The whole-group or lesson opener can also utilize technology if necessary. For instance, the teacher might play a segment of a commercial and ask students to bullet point subjective and objective methods on an index card. Then, the whole group might discuss observations briefly before breaking into rotations.
  • After the whole-group instruction, the teacher will then review the different rotations. Each rotation will involve a separate activity or list of options of activities. Each station will also involve different materials, skills, and varying levels of independence. While the station activities will look different, the objective for each rotation will be connected to the topic or content introduced during the whole-group warm-up.
    • A critical aspect of blended learning is the use of technology. Therefore, one of the rotations must involve some digital aspect. This can mean that students might access various materials via Google Classroom; or perhaps they will work from a collaborative, shared document while annotating copies of texts.
    • The use of technology also allows students to work at their own pace and review, reread, or rewatch as necessary. If one station includes audio or video, such as podcasts, teacher-created youtube videos, or step-by-step instruction using Screencastify, students are able to pause, rewind, or fast forward depending on their own needs.
    • Teachers can also, with a little planning, use technology to ensure that students are accessing materials to match their own specific ability levels. Websites like NewsELA allow teachers to select text sets with varying Lexile levels and digitally push them out to appropriate groups of students. This way, differentiation can be ensured for all students—the high flyers and the struggling readers.
  • In addition to the digital/technology rotation and the optional collaborative rotation, the third rotation is intended for small-group, teacher-led instruction. Teachers should often be advised to group students by ability level. Then begin working with the lowest group first. That way, the struggling students receive teacher-led, small-group instruction and discourse about the concept or topic before going off on their own in the other two rotations to work more independently.

Assess your Child’s Reading Level

A child’s Lexile score (or reading level) can be difficult to decipher without the use of a digital Lexile measuring tool, such as an online assessment or reading-level based program. While these programs are often used in schools and made available to teachers and reading specialists, parents might feel left in the dark when it comes to assessing their own child’s reading level. There are steps that parents can take at home, however, to somewhat narrow in on their child’s reading level—and it’s much easier than one might think!

 

Begin with decoding

Decoding is essentially one’s knowledge of or ability to translate text to speech properly by understanding letters and their relationships to sounds. Letters, combinations of letters, and syllables make specific sounds and follow specific patterns. A child may never have seen a word in print before; however, they can attempt to decode it by using their knowledge of these letter-sound relationships. The “sound it out” method that we adults are likely familiar with from our own educational experiences as kids is essentially the rough practice of decoding.

 

A simple at-home assessment, like the San Diego Quick Check or another equivalent test that gauges reading ability, can help determine at which grade level a child is reading. As its name suggests, the assessment is quick and easy to administer. Children will read a list of words out of context, using only their ability to decode to read them aloud. The number of errors in the list or series indicates the rough instructional reading level.

 

Vocabulary check

After selecting a book that suits the child’s reading level, parents can encourage active reading and listening by implementing the 5-finger method. As a good rule of thumb, no pun intended, the 5-finger method involves reading one page at a time, and asking the child to put a finger down any time that they are held up by an unknown word. If one page of the book contains 5 words that prove too difficult, the book overall is probably too difficult.

 

Another way to assess children’s vocabulary is to ask them to brainstorm synonyms and antonyms, but not in a high-pressure, quiz-like way. As your child reads, ask her if she can think of another way to say the basic words on the page, like happy, shiny, smart, play, run, etc. If she struggles, help her out by naming your own synonyms. This practice helps new readers slowly accumulate new, more specific vocabulary.

 

Comprehension check

To continue checking your child’s reading level, parents will want to hone in on comprehension as well—not just the phonics side of reading. Your child may be pronouncing words and sentences fluently, but reading for understanding is a whole other facet. As you and your child read, pause every few pages to discuss what is going on in the story. Prompt them by asking questions like this:

 

  • Where are the characters?
  • What are they doing there?
  • Have they faced any challenges, problems, issues, or difficulties?
  • What do you think will happen next?
  • Who do you think the main character is?

 

 

For older elementary readers, ask them if they can summarize the story at the end, or help them review the most significant parts of the story. Also, if possible, encourage a conversation about theme by asking what the character might have learned throughout the story.

 

Proactive Absences

Absences from school, whether due to illnesses or other circumstances, can disrupt a student’s academic routine. Additionally, as absences accumulate, students often experience stress due to missing work, growing to-do lists, and missed instruction. While some absences are unavoidable, there are strategies that students and families can employ to reduce the negative impact that absences might cause.

 

  • If possible, parents should let the school know about upcoming absences, especially if the absences are going to span over several days. For middle and high schoolers, parents can contact the attendance secretary or their child’s guidance counselor. These points of contact can quickly pass on the information to all of the student’s teachers so that everyone is aware of the upcoming absence.
  • Parents and/or students should let teachers know of absences well in advance when possible. Surgeries, orthodontist appointments, vacations, etc., are often scheduled farther in advance. The sooner teachers are made aware of the upcoming absence, the more likely they will be able to organize work for the days that the student will miss. This allows students to keep up with the work as opposed to playing catch-up upon their return.
  • Utilize online resources, such as Google Classroom, class websites, and school portals. Nowadays, teachers are posting everything from extra handouts, copies of the homework, and PDFs of class texts, to entire lessons and PowerPoints online for students and families to access from home. If students are well and able to complete work from home during an absence, encourage them to use online resources to keep up with the coursework. Remember, specific questions, especially from a student who has missed class recently, are highly encouraged; teachers are thrilled to see students being proactive and accountable for their schoolwork.
  • Especially for lengthier absences or family vacations, students may want to draft a plan for make-up work upon their return. If materials cannot be gathered in advance, ask teachers about setting up work sessions during lunch, or before and after-school tutoring, upon return.
  • For middle and high schoolers, who will likely need to arrange several sessions with multiple teachers across multiple content areas, set a weekly goal for work completion to keep it on track. Make sure that goals are realistic: if a student has been out for a week, it is unlikely that he will be able to complete all missing assignments over one lunch period.
  • Students should avoid putting too much pressure on themselves, as that can foster stress and result in procrastination. However, they also must try to be diligent about the make-up work to avoid digging themselves into a hole if schoolwork begins to pile up to an insurmountable degree.
  • Prioritize the make-up work so that the most critical assignments are accounted for first. For extreme illnesses or surgeries, counselors and administrators may decide to “excuse” students from small tasks, like homework assignments or practices. As long as a student can demonstrate mastery on major assignments, assessments, and tasks, the smaller items may be removed from the workload.