Stress Awareness Month: How Parents Can Monitor and Manage a Child’s Stress Level

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Adults are all too familiar with the concept of stress—we live with it almost every day to some extent. Not so surprisingly, American children are sadly experiencing chronic stress as well. In fact, data indicates that pharmaceutical use for children with emotional disorders has risen to an alarming rate, as has the suicide rate for adolescents. We know from our own personal experiences that mounting stress has an enormous ripple effect on our day-to-day lives. Sleeping patterns, eating habits, productivity, social/emotional well-being—all of these factors are very much correlated to stress levels. If we adults sometimes find ourselves in the weeds when it comes to stress, how can we expect children to react to an increase in stress?

The solution to stress in children should not involve managing stressors once they have reached their peak, but rather helping children avoid getting to that point of eruption. Here are a few tips to help parents take a proactive approach to stress:

Pack the schedule with pockets of “downtime,” as opposed to more activities. Of course children yearn to participate, whether it be dance class, soccer practice, after-school camp, science club, etc. This enthusiasm should not be discouraged, but it is a parent’s job to manage a realistic schedule and to keep it manageable. Yes, things will pop up—parties or sleepovers or field trips will emerge from the woodwork. However, downtime is essential for children to maintain their mental health. Often times, a child or adolescent’s stress levels mount when they feel incapable of maintaining the balancing act. To avoid this, allow time in the family’s daily schedule to do absolutely nothing. These pockets of time can be used for anything—a school project, extra violin practice, reading, or simply relaxing. The key here is that the time is used to keep that overbooked sense of urgency at bay.

Explicitly discuss stress and where it comes from. The more your teen recognizes where and when his or her stress emerges, the better equipped he or she will be able to anticipate and circumvent the stressor. For instance, if procrastination or last-minute rushing is the catalyst, teach time management strategies and how to plan ahead.

Similarly, if you know your child’s stressors, help him or her to prepare for upcoming events that might cause anxiety or stress. If you know that your child despises the dentist, give him or her a heads-up about an upcoming appointment. Explain that nervous feelings are valid, but that the pros of going to the dentist far exceed the temporary uneasiness.

Think of outlets for stress. In the same way that we hit the gym to expel the stress of the day, allow your child to explore options to clear his or her mind and body of any angst. If a walk around the block the morning before an important recital keeps the jitters at bay, make that a routine. Or, bring a stress ball to the dreaded dentist appointment. When said event is over, celebrate your child’s bravery, tenacity, and composure.

International Ask a Question Day: An Educator’s Observation

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March 14th marks the somewhat underrated “holiday” devoted to asking questions. Suitably falling on Albert Einstein’s birthday, International Ask a Question Day is meant to encourage the practice of seeking knowledge. In the world of education, questions are paramount in the learning process. In my own experience—and I think most teachers would agree—our job in the classroom involves asking, answering, and clarifying questions.

True story: Purely out of my own curiosity, I decided to tally the number of questions I was asked during a random school day. Any question counted—from, “Can I go to the water fountain?” to, “Should I underline the title of an article?” By the final period of the day, I knew I had a significant number of hash marks, but the exact amount of questions that had been asked far exceeded what I had anticipated. The number of questions was somewhere in the 300’s—and it was an early-dismissal day.

The point of this anecdote is to express the extent to which questions drive our work in the classroom. Students expect to get answers. Many may quantify those answers as learning. However, the real learning occurs when questions are formulated. To drum up a question, a student must first separate what he knows from what he does not know. This practice of sifting through knowledge and categorizing skills by competency takes a great deal of reflection. The saying “You don’t know what you don’t know” is thought to ring true for many students, yet in my observations, students are somewhat experts at recognizing what they do not know.

So, how can we use this almost innate penchant for curiosity and inquiry to best benefit our students?

Encourage your quiet students to “speak up” by allowing multiple ways of asking questions in class. This could mean keeping a question box or post-it notes available for students to jot down questions that they may be too shy to ask. You could also take a similar digital approach using Padlet or Google Classroom. Students are able to post questions to an online forum or webpage; they can also respond to others’ posts as well.

When reviewing for an assessment, have students create practice questions that they would anticipate seeing on the test. Have students submit or swap questions so that students can practice answering each other’s questions. If questions are well-written and relevant, use some student-derived questions on the actual assessment. This is also a way for teachers to gauge the students’ preparation for an upcoming assessment.

Play the well-known party game “just questions” in which students are only able to communicate using interrogative statements. This improv theater exercise encourages students to practice consciously phrasing and rephrasing questions. Students must think on their toes and apply knowledge of appropriate word choice and sentence structures in order to continue the conversation.

Provide students with broad or general questions like, “What is the setting of the story?” Then have students kick that question up a notch by adding another component or more complex level of inquiry. For instance, they might change the original question about setting to, “How does the setting affect the conflict that the character faces?” This practice allows students to add a layer of deeper analysis to a general question. Furthermore, this activity allows for plenty of differentiation depending on student ability.

Behavior Management

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A few years in the classroom has taught me a lot in terms of managing behaviors. I can honestly say that behavior management can make or break a classroom environment. As amazing as your planning and delivery might be, without the proper management in place, an unruly classroom will derail any lesson. If you have hit a speedbump in your management style, which happens to even the most seasoned teachers, consider these pointers:

Be the adult.

When it seems that your buttons are being pushed from all angles, remember that these are children or adolescents with whom you are dealing. There is no negotiating unless you feel the need to open that door. When students push back, keep your head and say something like, “I’m sorry you are upset, but I gave you my answer. This conversation is over.” This lets them know that you are in charge and that no amount of effort on their behalf is going to change the decision you have made—because trust me, they will try to convince you otherwise. Once you have made your decision, close the door on negotiating, begging, guilt-tripping, etc. Be sure to stand your ground—the second that you go back on your word, you’ve lost. Explain that no amount of disrespect or anger is going to help their cause, regardless of how much they argue, question or try to manipulate you.

Remain calm.

Similarly to standing your ground, teachers must remember to try to remain calm and keep cool—even when the students are not doing the same. Easier said than done, I know. We teachers know all too well that emotionally engaging in an argument or tiff with a student is never beneficial. Again, you are the adult. The conversation ends when you end it; no need to fuel the fire. As much as we are inclined to be kind, supportive, and nurturing towards the young people in our classrooms, we must remember that we do not need to seek their approval. Every student will not always like you all the time, but building a respectful relationship is what matters most. When you start to feel bad or guilty about managing behaviors strictly and swiftly, remember that being their friend is not your prerogative.

Wield power with responsibility.

Frame every decision so that it is in the best interest of your students. Demonstrate fairness to the class by explaining that you are not making decisions just to assert control or power. They need to understand that teaching is a decision-making role that involves a great deal of responsibility. Teachers are responsible for the safety and education of every student—so any behaviors that disrupt that must be redirected for the good of the whole. Yes, students will have plenty of opportunities to make their own choices, but for now, they need guidance from the adults in the room. They may not show it, but they will eventually understand your sound reasoning.

Recognize trends and triggers.

Finally, gauge emotions and recognize triggers for your many students. After years in the classroom, teachers are masters at recognizing behavior patterns, trends, and triggers for different personalities and age groups. So, take mental note of when a student begins to exhibit frustration. Isolate the root of the emotional response and act on that—they may be whining about homework, but the frustration may stem from a lack of confidence, knowledge, or patience. Of course, every student is different. So it is important to manage behaviors accordingly. What works for one student may not work for another.

Teacher Hacks to Use at Home Part I: Behavior Management

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Teaching is often more than a job or career path—it is something that we educators practice even when we are outside of the classroom.  Much of what we do in class, while content-oriented, is meant to be translated to the real world. From study skills, to organization, to behavior management, teachers have a whole repertoire of strategies that could be of major assistance at home. So parents, what can teachers teach besides their subject area? A lot!

First-year teaching has sometimes been compared to bringing a baby home for the first time. It is terrifying, overwhelming, exhausting, stressful, emotional, and exciting—basically a whirlwind of significant moments strung together. While teaching is not as dramatic as raising a newborn, it is a profession that involves constant giving. So, with regard to giving advice to parents struggling with behavior issues at home, first things first—we know your struggle. We too have had moments (probably many) when it seems as though we may never have a breakthrough with a particularly “feisty” child. But, there are certain keys to remember:

  • You are the adult. When it comes to those knock-down, drag-out tantrums or battles, remember that this is a child that you are dealing with. There is no negotiating unless you open that door. When kids push back, keep your head and say something like, “I’m sorry you are upset, but I gave you my answer. This conversation is over.” This lets them know that you are in charge and that no amount of effort on their behalf is going to change the decision you have made. Once you have made your decision, close the door on negotiating, begging, guilt-tripping, etc. Be sure to stand your ground—the second that you go back on your word, you’ve lost. Explain that no amount of disrespect or anger is going to help their cause, regardless of how much they argue, question or try to manipulate you.
  • Once you have stood your ground, you must try to remain calm and keep cool—even when the child is not. Easier said than done, I know. We teachers know all too well that emotionally engaging in an argument or tiff with a student is never beneficial. Again, you are the adult. The conversation ends when you end it; no need to fuel the fire.
  • Frame every decision so that it is in the best interest of your child. Show your child that you are not making decisions just to assert control or power. They need to understand that parenting is a decision-making role. Yes, they will have plenty of opportunities to make their own choices, but for now, they need guidance from the person who cares about their well-being above everything else. They may not show it, but they will eventually understand your sound reasoning.

Finally, gauge the emotions and recognize triggers for your child. After years in the classroom, teachers are masters at recognizing behavior patterns, trends, and triggers for different personalities and age groups. Of course, you know your child better than anyone. So, take mental note of when he or she begins to exhibit frustration. Isolate the root of the emotional response and act on that—they may be whining about homework, but the frustration may stem from a lack of confidence, knowledge, or patience.

Behavioral Techniques for Children with Learning Disabilities

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When it comes to education, there are few things that make or break a lesson like behavior management. Instruction is only as good as a student’s ability to receive it. If behaviors are out of control, the learning environment will be undoubtedly compromised. With classrooms of 30 or more students, effective behavior strategies can range far and wide—just like the many personalities in the classroom. While it may often come down to trial and error, some specific behavior techniques are known to be more effective for students with learning disabilities.

One important aspect of behavior management for students with learning disabilities is to create a classroom environment that is structured, but not rigid. Structure provides students with distinct expectations, both academic and behavioral. To set a standard or expectation from the beginning is a proactive way of staving off unsavory behaviors before they even emerge. However, as we all know, behaviors are typically an effect of some specific emotion. When emotions or reactions take over, especially for students with learning disabilities, it is beneficial that educators have a repertoire of behavioral techniques to try.

For students with ADHD…

Consider what is and is not within the child’s control before issuing a punishment or redirection. A child with ADHD is often impulsive and unaware of his or her own outbursts or comments. There is a difference between a child who is disruptive and a child with attention issues who is not intentionally troublesome. Therefore, the behavior techniques for an interruption must fit the circumstances. Instead of harping on the outburst immediately, as in the case of a disruptive student, give the student a silent cue to remind him or her of appropriate behavior in the class setting. Often times, simply making eye contact with a child will remind him or her to think and raise a hand before speaking out.

Another helpful behavior technique for students with attention issues is to use proximity. When a student is placed closer to the adult in the classroom, he or she will be more inclined to listen, track the speaker, and remain focused. Proximity also helps to remind students that they are in plain view of the teacher at all times. This technique assists when executive functioning is compromised and a student’s focus strays easily.

If a student with ADHD seems unusually fidgety or distracted, allow him or her to take a brain break. This one to three-minute movement break allows students to expel pent up energy or anxiety. The small time gap of movement also helps students to refocus and check back in if attention has been lacking.

For students with non-verbal learning disabilities…

Create a simple, structured outline for the day’s lesson. This will help a student who struggles to transition from task to task, or becomes easily frustrated if he or she feels “left behind.”

An outline or small sticky note indicating the day’s lesson will also prevent a student’s need to ask repetitive or unnecessary questions. These behaviors are typical for student with a non-verbal learning disability (NVLD)—including the inability to read facial expressions or interpret body language.

A student with a NVLD may also appear clumsy, careless, or uncoordinated. Preferential seating, either close to the teacher’s desk, pencil sharpener, door, etc., helps keep this type of learner from unnecessary roaming.

ADHD for Parents: Looks Can be Deceiving

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The Center for Disease Control reports that over 10 percent of children and teens suffer from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).  Even more shocking, many cases go unreported or are misdiagnosed, providing families with improper information and treatment options. With such a prevalence of attention difficulties among America’s youth, it is no wonder that the disorder can easily be misunderstood or misjudged.

For parents, this unknown or variable aspect of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder can be frustrating. Since every child is unique, children who suffer from ADHD may exhibit drastically different symptoms from one another. What many parents do not know is that ADHD does not have just one cause, or cure, or treatment. Other prevalent myths about ADHD are listed below, as we seek to understand what this disorder is—and what it is not.

  • Myth #1: ADHD mostly affects children at school. This is simply not the case. Children are often diagnosed once they hit school age, typically around age 6-7. While ADHD is most obvious in school because of the attention needs and self-control that is necessary to complete classroom activities, the disorder is not solely confined within the walls of the school. Any activity or conversation, whether academically-related or not, will be difficult for a child with attention issues. This impulsivity, inattentiveness, or lack of focus can happen anywhere—the car, the house, while having a conversation, or even when playing a game or watching a movie.
  • Myth #2: ADHD reflects a lack of care or eagerness on behalf of the child. Again, this is false. In fact, children with ADHD, when made self-aware of their inattentiveness, work even harder to compensate for the lack of focus. Imagine trying to watch a television show while listening to music using headphones. This is similar to how students feel in a classroom when multiple conversations are occurring at once. The multi-sensory distractions become so overwhelming that tuning out is the only reasonable option.
  • Myth #3: Children will outgrow the attention disorder. Unfortunately, this is not the case either. While children and teens, with appropriate behavioral and/or medical interventions, may better manage their symptoms as time passes, the disorder is never truly absolved
  • Myth #4: ADHD is considered a major roadblock when it comes to success in academia and in the work force. NOT TRUE. While the condition is titled a “deficiency,” ADHD has its own unique set of advantages, as well. If children and young adults learn to channel the disorder properly, the hyperactivity can be transformed into hyper-focus. That said, a person with ADHD may be able to focus on a difficult task for hours on end—determined to finish or solve the problem. ADHD also forces children to be self-sufficient and self-aware. Often times, after managing the disorder in school for a while, children learn to self-check and gauge their own level of attentiveness. They also find it easier to pick themselves up after setbacks or missteps. Similarly, people with ADHD are often forced to think or learn a little differently—their success is determined by the ability to streamline information, block out insignificant details, and question their comprehension of the task. Therefore, a person with ADHD will often hone these practices and exhibit ingenuity, creativity, and resourcefulness. ADHD should not be seen as a wholly detrimental learning disorder— in fact, people can use the symptoms to their advantage with practice and patience.

ADHD MONTH: Looks can be deceiving

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Since the classroom environment lends itself to tasks involving focus, attentiveness, attention to detail, cooperative learning, and time management skills, educators are sometimes the first to notice the growing prevalence of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and the symptoms that accompany the disorder. More and more children are exhibiting attention issues in and out of the classroom—the CDC reports that over 10 percent of children and teens have ADHD. With this significant percentage of cases comes just as many ways for the disorder to manifest itself—and every child is different.

As educators, we pretty much get a daily bird’s eye view of how each student learns, or struggles to learn. Even so, we occasionally (and inadvertently) forget that attention deficit hyperactivity disorder can reveal itself in drastically different ways. On a personal note, just last week, I held a student after class to discuss his constant roaming around the classroom. After asking him to be seated several times during instruction, my patience had admittedly dwindled.

He very calmly and candidly explained that, especially during the long block periods, he finds it difficult to focus while seated at his desk for too long. While this particular student did not show up to my class with documentation of an attention disorder, his need to move, at first misunderstood, is no less legitimate.

As demonstrated above, students with ADHD symptoms can be mistaken as disruptive, disinterested, disorganized, etc. It is important to be mindful of the catalysts to those behaviors—i.e., what do these behaviors truly mean?

ASSIGNMENT COMPLETION

When a student’s focus drifts during class or at home, assignments can be left by the wayside, going uncompleted or altogether neglected. Educators need to distinguish the difference between carelessness or disinterest and a student’s tendency to be distracted and drift. An incomplete project or homework assignment does not necessarily signify a lack of attempt. Anything from noise in the classroom to a transition during instruction can deter a student’s focus, making it difficult for him or her to complete the assigned work in the provided block of time. Again, this is not due to laziness or lack of interest.

Group work can also add a layer of difficulty to assignment completion. Students with ADHD can benefit from the conversation and movement that group work provides. However, these components can be just as equally distracting if the group’s conversation shifts off task. The group work can become overwhelming to the point that the student will drift and separate from the group. Again, this is not indicative of the student’s unwillingness to participate.

BEHAVIOR

As in the case of my “wandering student” above, children and teens with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder often find it beneficial to move about the room. This constant need to move is not only distracting to other students, but may also be seen as an avoidance technique. While this may be true in some cases, most often the student is moving because it helps him to focus or expend any excess energy. Frequent breaks, rotation stations, or standing and working from a clipboard are all methods to help alleviate the need to roam. These small bouts of movement also allow the student to focus.

If a student appears to be reading, doodling, or is otherwise “off task,” it may not be an indication that she is intentionally ignoring instruction or avoiding work. These seemingly defiant behaviors are actually a method of channeling a student’s focus—a self-soothing method, if you will. For some students, especially those with ADHD, putting their hands to work is a way of keeping themselves centered and attentive. A stress ball is also helpful for students whose attention is benefited from multitasking.  

As educators, we need to focus our attention not only on what we are teaching, but also to whom we are teaching. By paying careful attention to the learning needs and styles of our students, we can not only help our easily distracted students to learn more effectively, but also improve the overall learning environment for our entire class.  

 

Ready, set, GO BACK TO SCHOOL!!! Organization Style. Part 1 of 6

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Ready, set, GO BACK TO SCHOOL!!!!

Organization Style

It’s that time again—the back-to-school commercials are in full swing! Backpacks, lunch boxes, clothes, and school supplies are some of the things occupying the minds of parents these days. As the sun sets on summer 2016, it is important to ensure that your child is given every advantage to begin the school year with a bang!

While much focus is put on school supplies and the “necessary” materials, one key element in preparing for a successful year ahead is to put organization in the forefront. And, as they say, practice truly makes perfect—or close to it. Organization applies to a multitude of facets in the educational realm. While all are important, organizing time or “time management” is essential. For example, consider if a student has color-coordinated references, organized notes, and an impeccable outline for a research paper, yet that same “organized” student gives himself Sunday night to complete the final draft of his research paper. All of the prior organization becomes a futile attempt if time was poorly organized.

Organization, specifically time management, is a skill that comes with practice. Even as adults, we sometimes drop the ball by failing to plan ahead accordingly. Here are some tips to ensure that time management makes its way into your household this school year.

Start from the beginning. As we all know, it is much easier to prevent negative habits than to correct them later on. Right from the start, discuss a realistic daily schedule that includes designated homework/reading time, after-school activities, family time, and reasonable sleep/wake times. Of course, be prepared to be flexible when things inevitably come up. But, for the most part, a set schedule will help your child to maintain balance and assuage the stress that comes with cramming.
Model the practice of planning ahead. Especially in the middle and upper grades, projects and assignments become more labor-intensive. With several steps, check-in points, and deadlines, it is easy for students to quickly lose track or get overwhelmed. As with many difficult tasks, showing is more beneficial than telling. Show your child how to organize by breaking down large assignments and setting at home check-in points in advance of the actual due dates. Also, show them how to prioritize more difficult tasks. For example, a five-paragraph argumentative essay is going to need more attention than a vocabulary practice sheet.
Be proactive with organizing your time. It is important to anticipate certain roadblocks to prevent last-minute school stressors. Check the printer for ink before the paper is due; plan for picture day so that the outfit of choice is clean and pressed; pack gym clothes with extra socks so that the morning rush through the dryer can be avoided; email teachers about foreseen absences ahead of time to get any missed work or important information; have a plan for sick days, in which your child has a buddy in the neighborhood to bring work back.

Teaching students how to organize their time is a skill that will prove beneficial throughout their academic and adult lives.

NEED MORE?

Join us for “Homework. Got an Easy Button?”, a free, highly interactive 60-minute session designed to provide parents with concrete ideas and practical tools to support their student’s study practice at home. For more information, click here: https://learningessentialsedu.com/workshops/

Looking to empower your child to succeed? Learning Essentials’ Brain Camp teaches students practical step-by-step ways to study, organize, manage time, prepare for tests, and use executive functioning strategies— essential skills for today’s academic environment. Click here to learn more or enroll: https://learningessentialsedu.com/brain-camps/

PTSD Awareness Month

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Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is often associated with returning war veterans or first responders. However, children and teens are at a significant risk, as well. Because a child’s emotional coping responses develop as they age, they may be even more prone to symptoms of PTSD after a traumatic event. Thus it is imperative that parents and educators know the signs of PTSD in children and teens.

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, PTSD is diagnosed after a person experiences the three main types of symptoms for at least one month following a traumatic event:

      –  Re-experiencing the trauma through intrusive distressing recollections of the event, flashbacks, and               nightmares.

      –  Avoidance of places, people, and activities that are reminders of the trauma, and emotional numbness.

      –  Increased arousal such as difficulty sleeping and concentrating, feeling jumpy, and being easily irritated and angered.

So, what should educators look for? PTSD in children and teens most frequently occurs when the child has witnessed or experienced a violent or dangerous event. Most common reasons that a child may develop PTSD involve death or injury of a parent or loved one, witnessing or experiencing physical or sexual abuse, and any unexpected disaster, including a car crash, house fire, etc.

The National Center for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder estimates that anywhere from three million to 10 million children and teens witness violence in the home every year. Since domestic and child abuse is largely underreported, the true number of cases is thought to be even higher. That said, identifying PTSD involves vigilance, as every child copes and expresses emotions differently. For teachers and family members, it is important to have all of the necessary information when dealing with children suffering from PTSD.

To be proactive, adults in the child’s life should be informed about any recent trauma or violent event. Children may exhibit avoidance behaviors when something reminds them of the traumatic event. Any sort of flashback or familiarity of the event could cause extreme distress, agitation, or anxiety. Therefore, it is especially important that teachers know which subjects to avoid discussing in class, as certain topics could trigger an unpleasant memory or flashback.

Also, loud noises or sudden changes in the environment could cause flashbacks and emotional distress. Children may exhibit this distress by crying, shaking, appearing jumpy or skittish, etc. This hypervigilance is an attempt to foresee the possibility of another traumatic event. It is as though the child is expecting violence or danger at any moment. This sort of hypervigilance can cause sleeplessness, lack of focus, anxiety, and severe shifts in behaviors and emotions.

While some children may exhibit extreme temper tantrums, others may cope in an opposite manner. In an effort to self-soothe, some children may refuse to speak or fail to respond to comfort. In some cases, children and teens with PTSD exhibit selective mutism, in which they refuse to speak, interact, or make eye-contact with anyone.

Since symptoms and age of onset of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder vary from child to child, treatment options are just as diverse. Some cases of PTSD in children have been known to dissipate on their own after a few months. However, it is not recommended that PTSD symptoms be ignored in the hopes that the condition will fix itself. Different therapy options, such as cognitive behavior therapy, crisis management therapy, and play therapy offer various methods for children and teens to confront past trauma. The most important thing that parents and teachers can do is be vigilant and aware of behavioral, academic, and emotional changes in the child.

What NOT To Do When Students Are Stressed

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Seeing as April is National Stress Awareness Month, I thought it would be important to seek the child’s perspective on stress. As educators, we tend to see ourselves somewhat as ambassadors or liaisons between the world of academia and the youths that we are instructing every day. While we may think we know how to help students when they are experiencing overwhelming stress, it is possible that we greatly miss the mark sometimes, too.

In an effort to better understand how children respond to stress, I asked a simple question: What does NOT help you when you are experiencing stress? Here are the answers, “straight from the mouths of babes,” as they say.

Do not tell me that I’m overreacting.

When students were asked what does not help them in moments of extreme stress, many said the same thing, “Don’t tell me to calm down.” This is true for adults, too. Never in the history of calming down has anyone ever calmed down after being told to calm down. Students want to know that their feelings are validated. The initial “it’ll be ok, calm down” response is not only ineffective, but it also discredits what they are feeling in that moment. Instead, sometimes students simply want to know that they’ve been heard.  

Do not correct me.

Another unexpected response was the fact that students are not always seeking straight answers or constant perfection. In moments of stress, teachers or parents often want to alleviate the anxiety by removing the stressor or solving the problem for the child. While at times adult interference is absolutely necessary, sometimes it simply is not. When a student is struggling with a difficult concept or task, it is normal that he or she will experience stress. Working through the struggle independently is part of the process of learning how to self-soothe and persevere through the strife.

Leave me alone.

As adults, we know that sometimes, especially when the stress level is at its peak, we simply need some solitude. This is true for students, as well. As much as we may want to comfort or provide advice, students sometimes just want some alone time to decompress. Respect that.

Don’t tell me to manage my time better.

Similarly to tip number one, recommending that students practice time management and prioritization sometimes only adds more stress. Suggestions are great; however, often times, students are truly overbooked. Validating the stress that is attributed to their packed schedules and to-do lists shows that you understand and care about their emotional well-being. Time management is a great skill that comes with practice as children mature. However, sometimes we need to be mindful of the age-group and help students to taper back.

Don’t skip the reward.

No matter the age, students need to know that their hard work and stressful efforts have paid off. Whether large or small successes, it is important to pause at those achievements that didn’t come easily. Reward students with praise when you’ve recognized great effort and perseverance. Skipping the opportunity to praise a job well-done leaves students wondering if they’ve worked hard enough. We all know what it feels like to persist through stressful situations—recognition after the fact never hurts.