Providing Realistic Reassurance

Whether you are an educator, a parent, or a family member, you are likely fielding a lot of questions regarding the “what ifs” of the current state of things. The more complicated side of these questions is that we ourselves don’t have many answers to these questions—in fact, we’ve got questions of our own! One thing we can do for children and teens is to talk through their concerns as a family. The conversation may not always result in complete understanding or resolute answers. However, the importance is to ease fears and mediate concerns.

 

Missing milestones 

A major concern for today’s high school students is the fact that this unplanned, mid-school-year hiatus jeopardizes way more than just instruction and learning. Testing centers have been shut down; colleges and universities have sent students home, closed campuses, and moved to online learning for the second semester. For students who have been planning to tour campuses, take entrance exams, and narrow their final college search this spring, the current state of things makes those plans nearly impossible. Furthermore, the typical high school rites of passage that students look forward to throughout their entire education, such as spring break trips, prom, graduation and graduation parties, are more of an impossibility now because of COVID-19. How can parents begin to soften this blow?

• Put things into perspective for your teens by showing them the realities that other people are living. If kids are preoccupied with the notion that they’re missing out on major high school events, we need to give them a reality check. By reading up on the death tolls, financial struggles, and hunger and homelessness that this pandemic is causing around the world, our teenagers are able to see that, despite these cancelled events, their lives are extremely blessed. Discuss the importance of gratitude and how, while it’s okay to be disappointed about missing these milestones, it should not become all consuming considering how much we have to be thankful for right now. Furthermore, remind teens that sulking about does nothing to change the outcome—happiness is a mindset.
• Talk about how, even though the events themselves may be up in the air, the meaning behind these special rites of passage can never be lost. For instance, the importance of graduation is what it represents, not the ceremony itself. As a family, focus on the achievements and how, regardless of formal celebrations, the accomplishments still remain.
• When high school students get upset over these missed opportunities, parents can also provide comfort by stating the obvious—everyone is going through these same losses, too. Your teen needs to remember that she isn’t the only one missing out on prom or not getting her driver’s license right away. While most adolescents find it difficult to see beyond themselves, they can find comfort in the fact that these circumstances are not unique to them—thousands of other high schoolers are experiencing these same feelings of disappointment.
• When in doubt, highlight the great things that your teen has ahead of him. Yes, this is a largely confusing and disappointing time. However, this is going to pass. We can help ourselves get through these trying times by remaining positive and always looking for the silver lining.