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Proactive Steps for Transitioning within or between Schools

For parents with school-aged children, the idea of transitioning with or between entirely new schools can be anxiety-producing. How will my child handle the change of environment, schedule, routine and peers? How can I get a head start on making the transition as smooth as possible? What if things do not go smoothly? Who can I turn to for guidance? All of these questions are not only typical, but valid as well. Below are suggestions and ideas for parents whose children are transferring to a different school, or who will be experiencing a major transition within the current school.

Attitude is everything: For children who are just beginning preschool, Pre-K, or kindergarten, the initial transition from home life to school life can be challenging on many different levels. To ease the process right from the start, parents should be cognizant of how they react to the transition, as well as deliberate in how they portray their own attitude towards school. Parents and older siblings should intentionally speak of school as a positive, exciting new experience. A positive attitude towards school promotes the idea that this is a beneficial change in the child’s lifeit allows young children to become excited about the “newness” of the experience, as opposed to becoming frightened of the unknown. Discuss some of the new things that he or she will get to learn and participate in. Talk about the new friends they will make. Shed plenty of light on the great adventures that school providesperhaps start a countdown to encourage excitement about the transition, instead of dread.

Even for older students, attitude is completely contagious. If children and teens sense stress or anxiety coming from you about the school changes, they are certainly more likely to internalize those emotions. Therefore, if your middle or high schooler is experiencing a transfer or major schedule change, their first line of support and initial dose of positivity should come from you, the parents. Validate their concerns by listening and not dismissing their feelings, but be ready to put a positive spin on their concerns and provide solutions to their perceived worries.  

Do your research: To remove the intimidating shroud of the unknown, encourage any orientation, meet-and-greet, playdate, school tour, or mentorship that the new school might offer. For older students, check to see if their clubs, organizations, or extracurricular activities from the previous school exist at the new school. If so, get a jumpstart on registration, forms, and physicals for athletics. If your child or teen functions best when they know what is coming down the pike, ask the school about seeing your child’s class schedule or possibly meeting teachers in advance of the start date.

Guidance counselors are always a go-to for parent support, but networking through the PTA is another great resource. Members of the PTA are obviously involved in the school and in tune with the goings on in the school community. Fundraisers, parent meetings, and social events provide an opportunity for new parents to get involved, ask questions, and thus provide a sense of comfort to their child as “the new kid.” As much as information is power, parents new to a school’s community should be somewhat wary of the rumor mill, as this can paint facets of the school in a negative or incorrect light. Remember that any sort of listserv, blog post, or review could be biased or wholly untrue.

Focus on what’s important: Especially for middle and high schoolers, a transfer or transition to another program or school can mean a sharp learning curve, or even an initial decline in grades. Remind your student that anything new or unfamiliar is going to present its share of challenges, but this should not create discouragement. If grades slip or stress builds, reinforce your teen’s sense of self-worth by placing the focus on their other strengths. Remind him or her that a grade is simply one measure of their learningit is not indicative of one’s intelligence or capabilities.

Set aside time to acknowledge small wins or slight victories as a means of boosting self-esteem. Remind your child of the potential for growth that comes with challenges and obstacles. Then, encourage your teen to put the emphasis on gradual growth and improvementnot a solitary grade or score.   

The Significance of Struggling

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In honor of International Mountain Day on December 11th, designated by the United Nations General Assembly, it is time to take a look at mountains in the metaphorical sense. The holiday itself is meant to look closely at sustaining the food and water supplied by mountain regions. However, classrooms are chock-full of mountains as well—challenges presented in an effort to garner grit, perseverance, and problem-solving. As much as our students may prefer to resist or bypass struggles, it becomes our obligation as educators to provide the very obstacles that students would rather avoid. The point is not to frustrate or deter a sense of success—quite the opposite, rather. Skills are best acquired when learners are presented with increased difficulty and complexity. The struggles—or mountains, if you will—teach our students innumerable life lessons about how to be successful learners.

Lesson 1: Struggles teach young people about the real world.
One difficult aspect of education is the microcosm effect—as much as we educators present real-world problems, realistic scenarios, and connections to our students’ lives as much as possible, what we do in the classroom is merely practice. Thus, we must be sure to provide practice that is rigorous, unfamiliar, and exceptionally difficult at times. By creating opportunities for students to encounter advanced material, we also prepare them for life lessons in the real world. College and adulthood can prove to be a rude awakening for many students. Beyond the difficulty with transitioning, it can often be the first time in young people’s lives that they have to rely solely on themselves. Providing students with the opportunity to practice perseverance before heading into the real world of adulthood allows them time to live and learn—to make mistakes before the serious consequences come into effect. The greatest lesson to be learned from falling down is how to pick yourself back up.

Lesson 2: Struggles allow students to see what they’re really made of.
Avoiding difficult tasks and challenges is a sure way to evade failure and mistakes. However, by circumventing the struggles, students also forfeit the opportunity to push themselves to a greater potential. The adage, “nothing worth having is easy” applies here. Battling through an unusually difficult task teaches students to muster up their own greatness—that no matter how tricky something might be, pure grit and the desire to achieve can overcome even the most formidable opponents or challenges.

Lesson 3: Struggles prompt creative thinking.
Consider this: students in our classrooms today are challenged with tasks involving problem-solving and critical thinking skills. If the “problems” that we place in front of students are elementary or mundane, how can we expect to cultivate the creative thinkers of the future? Much like the beliefs behind Socratic methods and principles, we must present students with opportunities to investigate, question, and analyze real-world problems for which even we, as educators, do not have all of the answers. By creating authentically difficult challenges, we are prompting students to think outside of the box—try something that no one else has considered. It may fail, but with that failure comes a slew of lessons and strategies to employ for the next attempt.

Parent Involvement: How Much is Too Much?

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Involved parents are undoubtedly one of the main contributors to a student’s academic success. As much as students may not acknowledge it, you parents are very significant to your child’s education. We’ve seen the data–statistics, charts, and graphs about how absent or uninvolved parents result in academically low-achieving children. Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule–students with parents that are disinterested in their schoolwork can still manage to succeed by making academics a priority. Even so, the majority of teachers would attribute student success to a few key things. Parent involvement is one of those major things.

 

At times, however, the pendulum may swing too far. Overbearing parents that micromanage, handhold, and make excuses on behalf of the child can be as detrimental as the parents who are absent all together. This can be quite the fine line, especially for the major academic transition years when students are entering middle school or high school. Moreover, this is a difficult conversation for teachers and parents to have–no parent wants to be told to “back off.” And trust me, no teacher wants to be that messenger either! Below are a few tips on how to loosen the reins while still maintaining involvement in your child’s education.

 

Have a “my job/your job” conversation

 

One way to lay out the ground rules and expectations of your involvement during the school year is to simply discuss it at the start of the academic year. Talk with your child about when and why you will get involved with your child’s teachers. Under what circumstances should your child take the lead in handling a situation? When does it become necessary for parents to step in?

 

For example, your teenage child should not rely on you to email her teacher about an extension on a project–that is the student’s job. Furthermore, while teachers appreciate parental involvement, it is often a welcomed sign of maturity and autonomy when students take initiative to handle a situation with the teacher personally, as opposed to calling on mom or dad. Simply discussing what is and is not your job as the parent sends the message that your child should be in control of his or her academics.

 

Check-in on vs. Check-up on

 

Checking-in with your child is less invasive than checking-up on your child. You absolutely can and should contact your child’s teacher(s) about grades and behavior whenever necessary–the key word here being necessary. Checking-in implies that you are having a conversation with your child about how he or she can improve. Checking-up on your child implies that the conversation is taking place primarily between parent and teacher–not involving the child.

 

There are times when the parent and teacher should discuss matters in the absence of the student. But approaching your child first will shed more light on the situation before speaking to the teacher. Again, this is all about responsibility and independence. Parents and teachers can only take a child so far–at some point, it becomes the child’s responsibility.

 

Praise the initiative

 

Loosening the grip is difficult for both parent and child. Up until this point, the parent has been the caretaker, advocate, cheerleader, homework checker, and teacher-whisperer. As your child is gaining more independence with age, is becomes your job to encourage their self-sufficiency.

 

Talk to your child about when, why, and how to approach teachers and coaches for extra help. Explain the importance of asking questions in class, seeking help, and emailing teachers for clarity. This can be scary, especially for those “green” middle school years. In elementary school, students had a comfort level with the one teacher that instructs all content areas. Now, they have to learn a whole new set of faces, personalities, and procedures for the many classes. This can be downright intimidating, but remind your child of this: teachers are just people who want to see them succeed.

 

Encourage your child to build a relationship with teachers so that they’ll feel more comfortable seeking help when necessary. Acknowledge a job well-done when your child meets with or emails a teacher herself. Discuss the positive feeling that comes when your child shows responsibility and independence.

 

Too much of a good thing

 

Your child will always be your baby–there is no denying that. However, as difficult as it may be, parents must learn to pass responsibility on to the student at some point. Children who have been micromanaged and hand-held throughout their academic years will suffer later on. These students likely expect things to come easily to them because “mom and dad always took care of it.” These students may also lack social tact because they never had to speak for themselves. This constant academic “spoon feeding” will result in a student that is dependent on someone else to clean up messes and solve problems.

The time will come when mom and dad will (hopefully) not be able to contact the college professors about how their child can improve a grade. There are no parent-professor conferences to discuss extra-credit opportunities. Encouraging academic autonomy now will serve your child well through all levels of education–and beyond.

Tips for Middle Schoolers…Transition to Success

Tips for Middle Schoolers…Transition to Success

  1. Organization is one of the most important and necessary skills for being successful in Middle School.  Here are some tips:
    • Post your schedule inside your locker.
    • Color code your notebooks and folders for faster, easier class transitions. Example: Red notebook & folder for Math
    • Keep a small, magnetic dry erase board inside your locker to quickly write down after each class what books to bring home. Example: You leave math and know you have homework–write on your board math HW.
    • ALWAYS use your agenda.  You should be writing down any homework or upcoming tests/quizzes daily in your agenda. Do this before you leave your classroom before the bell.
    • A 3-ring zipper binder is a useful tool to hold pens, pencils, notebook paper and your agenda so that you are ready for every class. Note: D shaped binder rings tend to be more durable.
    • Get to know your locker combination and practice how to use the lock.  
  2. It is also important to communicate with your teacher.  If you do not understand something, wait for the appropriate time and ASK.  
  3. Do not spend too much time socializing in between classes.  Five minutes goes really quickly and tardies can add up fast. Several tardies can get you a detention. Use your lunch and after school to catch up with friends.
  4. Enjoy your time and get involved with clubs and other activities that are available.  Listen to what the teachers have to say and remember that being respectful can get you far.

Welcome to Middle School…Your Parent Guide

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  1. Check your child’s agenda book daily, and check not only homework, but completed homework on a regular basis.
  2. Keep lines of communication with school open. Don’t wait for school to contact you. Take the initiative.
  3. Get to know the teachers, keep in contact, and understand–regardless of what your child comes home and tells you–there is always another side to the story.
  4. Teach your child that every teacher is different, just as co-workers and bosses will be in life.
  5. Be prepared for change. Be prepared for the shock of academic and non-academic discussions in middle school about topics you never heard your child mention before.
  6. Tell administrators about teachers who make a positive impression. Do you enjoy being complimented? So do teachers.
  7. Reward positive accomplishments (agenda book completely filled in, perfect papers, etc.) on a weekly basis. A little goes a long way, and middle schoolers thrive on praise.
  8. Get involved. Research has shown that parents’ participation increases the child’s self-esteem, improves their academic performance, improves the parent-child relationship, and develops a more positive attitude toward school in both the parent and child.
  9. Ask your child to teach you at least three new things they learned each day! Listening is one of the greatest–and most neglected–skills of parenting. Don’t be too busy with the little stuff in life to miss the important moments with your child. When they tell you about their day, look them in the eye, and listen; really listen!

Be objective. Listen to your child’s teachers. Sometimes they may tell you things about your child you aren’t going to like or want to hear. But remember, your child at home is not necessarily the same child they see at school. You don’t have to take everything the teacher says as gospel, but make sure you really listen and consider their advice.

Kick Start Kindergarten With Success!

 

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It is Essential to kick start kindergarten with success! As exciting as the first day of school can be, first-timers can experience quite a bit of nerves in the beginning. These are the top ten ways to help reduce anxiety and ease into kindergarten!

  1. Picture it. Research shows that kindergartners are initially concerned with knowing where the bathrooms are, when lunch is, and who will play with them on the playground. Ease these specific concerns by writing a positive story about the first day of kindergarten. Include tasks like getting around the building, lining up for lunch, and making friends at recess. Then have your little one illustrate the story.
  2. Calm the fear of the unknown. Ask the school for a schedule and create a visual list of the daily kindergarten routine. Post it in your home and discuss what a typical day will be like. Knowing “what comes next” is a big hurdle when easing anxiety.
  3. Be an Explorer. Explore the school before the first day—take a tour, walk or drive by the school, play on the playground, visit the website, or talk about the school mascot. Ask questions, such as which way do you turn to get to your classroom?
  4. Say Cheese. At orientation, snap a picture of your child in the classroom with his or her teacher. Capture pictures of the circle time, the front door, the cafeteria, and the gymnasium. Place them on the refrigerator as a visual reminder.
  5. Talk it Out. Talk about the teachers and staff who will teach and care for your child during the day. Look ahead at the school’s event calendar and talk about special activities coming up. Interview a neighborhood child that has already experienced kindergarten. Validate any concerns by telling them about your first day of school.
  6. Let’s Play. Connect with kids in the neighborhood or new friends from orientation before the start of school. Arrange for kids in the class to meet at a local playground just before school starts. A friendly face is always welcome.
  7. Balancing Act. Try out “cafeteria style” eating at a local restaurant and practice opening food packages. Teach them to use their “milk thumb” to hold a round milk container when it is lying flat. This will prevent it from rolling off of their tray. A little self-sufficiency goes a long way.
  8. Rise and Shine. Adjust your child’s sleep schedule, including bedtime and wake-up time, several weeks before school begins. Ten hours of sleep is a good rule of thumb.
  9. Beat the Rush. Shop early for school supplies. Allow your child to select the necessary items. Have your child practice packing a backpack and walking around with it.
  10. Countdown. Anticipate the first day of kindergarten. Count down the days to the start of school, similar to an advent calendar. Ask a school-related question each morning or surprise them with a treat when they open a numbered bag.